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The Dalriada Massive

Kelvin "The Palm Tree" Harkin
In his early years, Kelvin attended primary school at St Colmcille's in Claudy, this was whenever he began his training to become a ninja for Robot Jesus Ninja championship, this training consisted of Kelvin learning different techniques of confusing his opponents such as rolling around in the muck and doing outrageous dance moves. At age 7 after competing in the first round of the Robot Jesus Ninja championship, Kelvin was disqualified for using an illegal move called the muck slide, illegal in most sporting competitions, and after his disqualification he began to ingest heavy amounts of alcohol until he was given the opportunity for a new job.

This new job was known as a Fusion Splicer, and Kelvin took this job very seriously until one day when he was fussing some cable a shock of electricity traveled down the cable and changed his mindset. He began to act stranger and stranger as he was developing super powers. These where no ordinary super powers though these where the ultimate super powers of a Tree based life form known as a Palm Tree. Every so often Kelvin would stand still and not move or speak this power was quite useless, but useful in some situations where he can be used to float down a river.

After 2 years with these powers a friend of his, known as Darren "Swarley" Caldwell, began to get annoyed by his popularity of becoming a Palm Tree and one day whenever Kelvin was showing his powers to the media, Darren lit a match and set Kelvin on Fire, in this process Kelvin could not change back to his original form and Kelvin was burned to death. Darren was later arrested but was released as it was only a petty crime as "the Tree" left no trace of Kelvin's identity and Darren ended up with a fine and a lot of abuse from the Green Peace fan boys.

Darren "Swarley" Caldwell
Darren is apart of the troll kingdom known as Animatium this is where him and many other troll type people would roam around setting things on fire such as Palm Tree's. In his early years Swarley would go around and mating with Gibbons and after this mating process he would punch the Gibbon in the face, this was first invented in his home town of Ballymena.

As Swarley grew older he began to grow tired of punching Gibbons in their tiny little faces and began to go outside and do a windmill, a process of swinging your penis in a circular motion, at baby Gibbons just to let them know what they where in for as soon as they where older. After many reported incidents to the police, by a Gibbon named Mel, Swarley was then arrested and sentenced to a year of mating with Palm Tree's. This began his hatred for Palm Tree's.

Once Swarley knew about a so called super hero with the power to turn into a Tree he began to enquire who this was, he then made the trip to visit Kelvin "The Palm Tree" Harkin and became close friends, but the friendship was never going to last. Once Kelvin was showing his trick to the media, Swarley then pounced at the opportunity to end this fiasco. Swarley got his match set it alight and set Kelvin on fire, though Kelvin was in his Palm Tree state he could not turn back into his original state of human.

Swarley was arrested but was later released, as there was no evidence proving it was Kelvin "The Palm Tree" Harkin.

Christopher "The Thumb" Comac

Christopher "The Thumb" Comac began his life in the little town of Maguires Bridge, though he did not live in a house he lived under a bridge. Christopher spend his days rolling in sewage and publicly admitted that anything that came under the bridge belonged to him.

After a party within a House in Maguire's Bridge, Christopher got drunk and went back to his bridge to sleep, what he didn't realise there was toxic waste that had began floating down the river, whilst Christopher was in his drunken daze he ended up rolling into the river. This toxic waste then fused Christopher with a thumb that was chopped of by the Maguire Bridge Mafia.

Christopher now had the fundamental power of turning into a thumb, he then began to use this power to his advantage by having a timer on a camera and a tin of food. He began to sue big tin food companies and made himself quite rich and met his future wife Michelle Gibbon, though he did not move away from his bridge he decided to change the bridge design and made it a home for him and his family. Though his family where quite deformed due to Michelle's incest from her ancestors and Christopher's strange powers, so their children ended up 1/3 human, 1/3 thumb and 1/3 Gibbon. Though this was quite strange Christopher loved his wife and children and lived happily ever after.