User talk:Carvejt/sandbox

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“==Topic Peer Review 1==”

I notice you are citing after each sentence, it would probably be better to make the citation after the whole paragraph.

First sentence - immigration should be immigrants

“The Department of Homeland Security has expanded between 2002 and 2006, expedited removal for” - this wording is confusing

Additional links to other wiki pages as well as outside pages may be helpful. Ex: Secure Border Initiative

More information could be useful in the first paragraph on “high consequence enforcement”. I think the next paragraph goes on to explain it in more detail, but the connection is a little unclear.

the organization and wording are all very clear, good job! — Preceding unsigned comment added by Cdefe (talkcontribs) 00:59, 11 March 2015 (UTC)[reply]


Cdefe (talk)cdefe Cdefe (talk)deduck

Thank you for your input. There have been changes made to cite sources at the end of short paragraphs instead of every sentence. The change in the first sentence has also been made. We have also revised the sentence pointed out for confused wording.

We added additional links to other wiki pages and outside pages. Secure Border Initiative has no outside link, this may point to a need.

There has been a more clear connection made in the first paragraph on "high consequence enforcement".

Thank you again for your review.

Carvejt (talk) — Preceding undated comment added 16:04, 18 March 2015 (UTC)[reply]