User talk:Cjohnsonhall/sandbox

I like the content additions that you are making to the article. My first critique is that the article that you're editing is very long and I read through some of it before I read your additions to get a sense of the article. I would have liked you to say where in the article your additions are going so I could have had some context. Even creating a heading "Climate Change and Pest Populations" would have been helpful.

Another critique I have is that you mention food security in the concluding paragraph, and I would have liked for it to have been mentioned in the opening paragraph as well. One way to fix this would be to do some re-ordering of your draft. I really liked the last summary paragraph. I would suggest moving it to the beginning of the draft because it orients the reader and it is easy to understand. The first paragraph was hard to understand because there were a lot of long sentences with a lot of clauses. If the length of sentences were cut down, my comprehension of the content the first time reading through it would increase a lot. Gwej (talk) 00:09, 23 April 2017 (UTC)