User talk:Crespo5/sandbox
hey guys!
I'm going to be expanding on Wikipedia's "African feminism" page by providing examples of African feminism in African countries (like Nigeria and South Africa). I plan on talking about these two countries by manifesting various scholarly sources while presenting how it all revolves around African feminism.
Tell me what you think of my first draft, and if I should add/change/remove anything!
Thanks!
Maddy's Peer Review
[edit]Overall I think your additions thus far are really good! The examples are definitely an important aspect of this article that was lacking. Where are you thinking of adding this section in the article? Also, what are the numbers in brackets- some sort of citation? In the "From its inception..." paragraph, I think you want to correct "activism that holistically aimed towards" by adding "is." I also think you could edit the end of the sentence by saying something like "enhancing the socioeconomic conditions in which many Nigerian women experienced." Something along those lines because I think it's a bit awkward right now. The sentence beginning with "Therefore" also requires some minor edits. Such as "as" to "a" before "double jeopardy, and maybe say "exploitation and oppression of women are marked as dual forms..." You need to link your citations in your draft, but so far I think you have a really good start. Mtovsen (talk) 18:59, 6 April 2019 (UTC) Maddy
Samia's Peer Review
[edit]Hey Mauricio!
I think you are doing a great job so far! I love the topic that you chose- it's very refreshing to hear more about feminism in Africa and how its progressed.
Just a few minor edits: First, just as Maddy pointed out, your sources are not yet linked at the end of sentences so I'd fix that when you are doing more editing. Second, I may not be right but double check about adding direct quotes because I know from the training's that we are supposed to close paraphrase instead so I would just double check with that. Third, there are a few grammatical errors in your third paragraph which Maddy pointed out- as to be expected with a rough draft so no worries on that.
Just some suggestions (feel free to do as you please with these): Maybe you can highlight some of the policies/research projects the WIN implemented it may be helpful just to give a couple of examples. Also, you note how there were some notable feminists that developed through WIN which you could also give examples on and maybe brief descriptions. If you don't want to do a little description if these leaders are on wikipedia you can hyperlink their names so that readers can go to their article to find more information.
Overall, this is looking great! Looking forward to seeing the finished product.