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Feedback for bovine tuberculosis

[edit]

Hi DK.Sci, a few things:

  • Scientific names are always italicized. Instead of M. bovis, it should be M. bovis
  • You'll want to make sure that all initialisms/acronyms are defined at first usage (The WHO (World Health Organization)...). If these are already defined in the article where you want to add this text, then don't worry about redefining them here
  • You want to make sure you are consistently putting your references after your punctuation such as commas and periods. I see at least two instances of a reference coming before a punctuation mark.
  • You'll want to think about where to integrate this content into the article. My first thought would be to split Tuberculosis#Transmission into two subsections: Human mediated and cattle-mediated or something like that
  • In general for links, the idea is that the reader shouldn't have to click the link to understand the meaning of a sentence. However, for the sentence Controlling this disease requires animal health, food safety, and human health sectors to collaborate under a One Health approach, I felt that I had to click the One Health link to understand the concept. It can be good to include a parenthetical explanation after terms like that

Your references look suitable for biomedical content on Wikipedia and all the content looks well-supported. Nicely done! Elysia (Wiki Ed) (talk) 19:42, 14 October 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Feedback for One Health

[edit]

Hi DK.Sci, here are some of my thoughts for your recent draft:

  • Section titles should not be redundant with the article title. So instead of "History of One Health", you would just want "History".
  • As much as possible, the title "Dr." is avoided on Wikipedia. See MOS:DOCTOR for more about this.
  • There is a WP article for James Harlan Steele if you want to add the link
  • After a cursory glance through some search results, it appears that Calvin Schwabe is notable enough for a WP article, but one has not been created. If you'd like, you can add the link anyway (the redlink) to signal to readers and other editors that this is something to be rectified
  • This looks like a wall of text. Can this section be broken down into 2-3 paragraphs?
  • The trademark symbol should be removed
  • Book titles (Zoobiquity) should be italicized
  • Wikipedia only likes a few kinds of date formats, and generally does not like any ordinal dates (May 1 instead of May 1st; June 3 instead of June 3rd) so instead of "November 3rd, 2016" it should be "November 3, 2016"
  • The very last sentence comes across as slightly promotional ("Organizations across the globe come together to raise awareness and foster engagement for issues related to One Health on this day each year.") "Raise awareness and foster engagement" are somewhat vague and could be construed as puffery. "Organizations across the globe" is a somewhat flowery way to say "Worldwide organizations". See if you can tweak this sentence with examples of specific activities and outcomes as a result of these meetings.

Thanks, Elysia (Wiki Ed) (talk) 19:35, 13 November 2019 (UTC)[reply]