User talk:Dmitribard/sandbox
Hello Dmitri,
I think you have chosen a very notable person to write about. However writing about people is always difficult because there has to be some type of bias one way or the other. Several things I noticed in this article were that it sounded almost like you were trying to convince someone as to why Nino Oliviera was the greatest equestrian master in the world. I didn't see much in the way of criticisms or objective views from those in the equestrian field. Below are the things I considered the most dangerous to the neutrality of your article. I used specific examples of phrases you used in your article that you need to avoid in order to make this more factual than opinion based.
- puffery- "greatest equestrian art master" "exceptional artistic sensibility" - making claims based on no evidence - Sentence fragments in the biography section such as "his mother was very religious" - unsupported attributions "thanks to his unique educational skills" "despite his popularity" "some observers tied him to" - I didn't see much in the way of 2nd and 3rd party citations.
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