User talk:EAB2000/Women in Greece

Nice citation, EAB2000, I've recorded that it was completed (but late). Watch your grammar/punctuation and sentence structure going forward. Gardneca (talk) 20:00, 21 October 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Peer Review for EAB2000/Women in Greece

Strengths of the Draft

-edits added in the "social, legal and political status" section were strong remarks. The term for wife (damar) fit nicely into the topic and I felt as though it was a strong sentence given the statement. Second strong point regarding what happens if there is no male to inherit property, also a point that was strong and fit directly into what was being discussed in that particular paragraph.

-new heading "Quality of life" was well done. The article previously touched on some of the topics in the previous paragraph, however, those points were kept very general so I felt as though it is a topic that holds enough information for a new heading. It contributed to and improved the article fairly well.

-citations in both sections were done well

-Including various greek terms (ex. kyrios (master)) was great to see in the edits. The information could be delivered without the original use of the greek language, however, terminology is deemed proper and keeps the new additions to the article intellectual by displaying both the english and greek terms when discussing a topic.

Potential Draft Improvements

-more edits/additions overall throughout the article. It can be difficult to find new information that hasn't already been mentioned, however, areas such as Education and/or Women in the Greek War, could have seen some new information if the area that is describing the social, legal and political aspects didn't have as much opportunity for new information.

-punctuation, grammar, and spelling could see some improvements, especially in the new section created on quality of life.

-some sentences could use rephrasing for example: "Later commonly most of these women were married to a close relative to her father if she became adjunct to that property." I would have said "later, it was common for most of the women to marry a close relative of her father if she became adjunct to that that property". --paraphrasing is important but it's also important that the sentence still flows nicely.

McLeanB23 (talk) 22:01, 2 November 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Instructor Feedback

Thank you for your review, McLeanB23, and for the suggestions for improvement - these are helpful and practical, and focus on the content as well as presentation. Great work!

EAB2000 this is a really unique kind of Wikipedia article to improve, because it's on such a broad topic. I like the additions you made to pre-existing sections (although you'll want to italicize Greek words, and find the Greek spelling too). The new section will have to be moved so it's under the larger sub-heading of 'Women in Ancient Greece.' You'll have to add a lot more content to this, and I think additional sub-sections will be necessary. So in your quality of life section you start by talking about women in domestic contexts, and then move on to festivals. Why not make each of these its own smaller section? Because you have such a broad topic it can seem a bit overwhelming to tackle, just start with small sections and ask if you need help. You will definitely also be able to add some photos to this page which will improve it significantly. Just keep writing and adding content, I'd like to see a lot more added by the end of the month! Please let me know if you have any questions, and reply to this comment when you have seen it with your plans and goals for improvement over the next month. Don't forget to tag me and sign with 4 tildes (~)! Gardneca (talk) 20:01, 6 November 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you for your feedback! I will definitely apply all the suggestions to improve my article edits! — Preceding unsigned comment added by EAB2000 (talk • contribs) 19:12, 14 November 2019 (UTC)[reply]