User talk:ElColiflor24/sandbox
Hola a todos _____
Hi Collin, I think this looks like a good preliminary translation. Once you revise your work based on the peer review, you should concentrate on how to integrate this content into the existing English article, as we'll discuss in next week's workshop. Bradhoot (talk) 21:00, 11 October 2021 (UTC)
Comments on second draft
[edit]@ElColiflor24: Good work on your draft article! Here are some comments to help you revise as you prepare to publish your work by integrating it with the existing English article.
- Overall, your translations are excellent! I did have a few suggestions, and I caught various typos, etc., which I corrected directly in the text.
- Good work incorporating the original sources.
- The paragraph beginning with “The origin of Mapuche…” seems like it could use some citations. They even mention some people by name here, so it seems like that could be cited.
- “Pronunciation of consonants fluctuates in accordance with the mood of the individual speaker” – That’s a strange claim, which I’d like to see a citation for. Also, why are we talking about consonants in the section on intonation? Could there be a translation problem here?
- On a similar topic, the examples in the intonation section don’t seem to demonstrate intonation. Rather, it does indeed look like variation in the consonants, but those can’t be understood as tones. I find this quite confusing.
- I can see that you haven’t gotten to the consonant section yet, which is fine. I can help with any of the terms you have questions about.
- You might need to double-check some of the reference formatting. I see some issues, I think.
In addition to these changes and the ones I made directly, in our workshop, you should be prepared to think about how you’re going to incorporate your work into the existing article. Where is each piece going to go? How will you integrate things so that you’re not duplicating existing material? Where will you replace existing material with your new material? How might you need to alter your translation to fit in the existing context, including some possible re-writing?