User talk:Eloize13

Comments on Speech Sounds Article

You've done a good job here of advancing the article's summary and adding a source for Butler's Hugo Award. Since you're mostly revising the plot summary, you don't have to add many citations, but if you've come across any external links (articles, sites that mention the story) in your research, it might be helpful to add them to the list on the bottom. There are a few sentence that you may want to revise. The word "something" when referring to what Obsidian throws is a bit too vague--an object might be better. You may also want to add a transition between "In Los Angeles, a woman named Rye has lost her parents, husband, sister and children to the illness." She decides to seek out her only remaining relatives, a brother and his family in nearby Pasadena."