User talk:Erinford44/Job strain
Article draft feedback
[edit]Really nice additions here! I particularly appreciate the clear organization of sections, which I think work well. The biggest notes I have as you continue researching, adding, and revising are:
- there is some language and a sense of purpose in several places that doesn't quite fit with the goals of an encyclopedia entry (examples include "how to" angles, like the recommendation to employers or the currently empty "how to manage" section, and any conclusions you arrive at based on the information you're finding, such as "Employees need to be able to make decisions and participate to feel supported by colleagues")
- several of your sources look excellent. I would recommend moving away from the thesaurus source (while paraphrased definitions of terms are common elements of encyclopedia entries, synonyms don't tend to be) and the listicle (19 tips...I don't see any indicators that this author or publication have authority or relevance on this topic). It might be worth thinking about new possible search terms to locate additional stronger sources (the original article links to "psychosocial stress", so a search along the lines of "psychosocial stress" AND "workplace" might get some new/different helpful results. I would also suggest looking at the existing sources in the article's reflist to see if they have more information that will help you expand the article.
- you might already be planning to do this, but sources/websites shouldn't be pasted into the text--they should instead be housed and formatted in a reflist at the bottom of the article.
- this could use a careful proofreading for clarity (for example, I can't quite parse the sentence "Housing as well as other expenses make low salaries difficult to provide") and sentence flow (there are a number of short, choppy sentences that would read more smoothly with greater sentence variety)
I think those are my biggest notes based on this draft. Let me know if you have any questions, and I look forward to seeing your final edits! Nicoleccc (talk) 23:49, 8 November 2019 (UTC)