User talk:Feihuamengxue/sandbox

Comments on the slum article outline for your school project

I like your proposal about adding Section 6. Replacing slum tourism section with a link is okay with me. Adding more resources is good, but keep in mind the essay WP:CITEKILL.

I do not understand the need for new sub-sections that already exist in the article (for example 3.2, 3.3, 3.4, etc). Please explain. Do you want to delete and rewrite everything? Why?

Other suggestions:

Avoid titles or words that are implicitly WP:POV; for example Risks is better than Problems. Similarly, Section 7 and 8 is confusing. Do you intend to include 'slum upgrading' in section 8? or something else? Which reliable source suggests it is not a countermeasure? Why does Section 8 deserve disproportionate unfair importance outside Section 7? How is that WP:NPOV?
Avoid titles and subsections that are WP:OR; for example, subsection 3.5: Other 'possible' causes.
Is your proposed section 3.5 where you want to lump the other 5 causes in the current article. Why? Doing so makes them less important than your 3.1 through 3.4, thereby violating balance and WP:NPOV. Similarly why keep colonialism, and ignore segregation? Segregation as a cause that created ghettos/slums in Europe and USA has been discussed by dozens of scholars. Segregation versus Integration debate in Europe, its role on slums is active (see this paper from 2013).
Do not try to fit the article based on one or few articles. Some authors do list migration or urbanization, poor planning, colonialism as causes; but other scholars list others currently in the article. Do not take sides and decide which group of scholars are more important and which ones are less important. See WP:DUE.

I can offer more constructive suggestions if you would help me understand your outline by adding few words or a line or two, under each subsection. ThomasJessica (talk) 03:25, 3 October 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you for your suggestion ! It's really helpful!

By adding "sub-sections", I mean adding them to the contents which you already did. I will not rewrite everything of course. You really did a good job! — Preceding unsigned comment added by Feihuamengxue (talk • contribs) 15:52, 14 October 2013 (UTC)[reply]
I added section 8 because in section 7 (already existed) there are many cases, while I would like to add to some general approaches to slums. Maybe it's better to just add a sub-section, approached to slums, or blended the general approaches with the cases. (General approach means, for example: constructing more houses with no specific case.)
I agree with you that it's better not lump the other 5 causes in the current article.
The last piece of suggestion is really helpful! I will adjust my outline in the sandbox.

BTW, I will finish my initial contribution by thursday and any further advice is welcome! (Feihuamengxue (talk) 15:51, 14 October 2013 (UTC)) Thanks a lot![reply]