User talk:Gojasmin2015/sandbox/Magdalene with the Smoking Flame

Peer Review by Hannah Bird

You have a really solid outline for this painting, and the written information you do have - is a good start to an informative article.

The Lead Section

The lead section has some good information about the whereabouts of the painting, currently. I would recommend revising the first sentence, it's a run-on. But the information is good. I would also absorb the section titled History, into the lead category. With all that information combined, I believe your lead section will be very strong, brief, and informative.

Clear Structure

I think the sections you ave created relate really well to your topic. However, I do think that the order should be rearranged. I think, to have your article flow nicely, you should create the structure like this.

  Lead Section

1. History of Mary Magdalene

- You have a good outline for this section. When you continue to write it, I would try to answer these questions. 1. What made her a sinner? 2. Why was        
  she one of the most devoted followers of Christ?
- Make sure the title is clear, and the name is spelled correctly.

2. Magdalene with the Sparkling Flame

- Here I would do a quick overview of the painting, pointing out - but not explaining - what are where the subjects are in the painting. 
- Then, as sub-headers - create different sections. (Magdalene - what she's wearing and her expression, the skull, the cross, etc) 
  Any object in the painting that has information should become a sub header.

3. Versions

- What you cited and linked was perfect. The places and topics I had questions or wasn't sure about had like, good job!

4. Themes

- I thought this was very informative.
- Maybe try for a more elaborate title for this section.

Hannahbird96 (talk) 18:18, 3 April 2019 (UTC) 5. In relation to Popular Culture[reply]

- I had no idea the painting was in The Little Mermaid, that's really cool. 
- The links and citations in this section were perfect. 
- Maybe elaborate more, put the time in the movie the painting can be seen - but that might be overkill.

Overall

Your content is neutral, and you stay on topic. I would just watch your run-on sentences, and add links and citations. Other than that, you've done a really great job, so far!