User talk:Gtssamie3/sandbox

Amy Lynnae's Peer Review for Gtssamie3

1) The lead section appears to be the section titled "Characteristics of Whiting Event". This section is fairly detailed, and instead of being an overview touches on one or two main points. I cannot tell if whiting events are a bad/good thing, what the main cause of it (e.g. what causes the calcium carbonate precipitation), and what the effects of the whiting events are. In looking at the rest of the article, the lead section does not necessarily reflect the most important information. It appears that the lead section could be reconstructed to include a summary of each of the written sections (characteristics, causes, and microbiological processes and whiting even relationship). I think one thing that is missing from the article is what are the effects of whiting events?

2) The sections are definitely organized well. As the article goes on, it gets more specific on the subject's characteristics, which I think is very good. An area that may need improved structure is sentencing. Many of the sentences are very short and possibly not complete. By combining sentences that are hitting the same subject, I believe your referencing and sentence completion could improve. Below is an example:

Current: Whiting events are characterized by cloudy, white patches of water that are clearly lighter than water that is not affected. In shallower waters (less than 5m deep), however, whiting events tend to be slightly tanner. These shallow events also last less than a day. By contrast, whiting events in deeper waters (greater than 5m deep) can last for several[2].

Re-Structuring: Whiting events are characterized by cloudy, white/tan patches of water that are clearly lighter than the water that is not affected. In shallow waters (less than 5m deep) the events tend to last less than a day and appear to be a more tan color. By contrast, whiting events in deeper waters (greater than 5m deep) can last for several days, and appear to be more white in color [2].

3) I think the balance is great so far. Having a subsection in potential causes is a really cool idea, however I think the other causes may deserve a section also. At this moment, having only included microbial processes relation makes it appear that this is the most important cause to whiting events. Therefore I suggest highlighting the other causes as much as the microbial processes, or at least explain why it isn't highlighted as much (maybe the other causes are less common). I think everything is on-topic and looks great other than the missing "cause" explanations.

4) I can not guess the perspective in this article. In fact, I can't totally tell what the problem is with whiting events or what it may add to an environment. The article does not make claims on behalf of unnamed groups or people. Everything is very clear and unbiased, other than the fact that I can't tell what the effects of whiting events are.

5) The references all appear to be reliable sources. I think you did a great job with finding references from different areas, so that you are not focusing on one main area that has experienced whiting events. I would be careful with some statements that seem to be unreferenced. Each section seems to state many facts that are not common knowledge, therefore would need some type of reference. Below is a list of sentences that I believe could use a reference:

1. They are also more common in harder waters. 2. In shallower waters (less than 5m deep), however, whiting events tend to be slightly tanner. 3. These shallow events also last less than a day. 4. Of these three, the last is unlikely due to the reaction kinetics of calcium carbonate precipitation. 5. Via photosynthesis, these organisms uptake inorganic carbon, raise water pH, and alter water alkalinity, which promotes precipitation. 6. In addition, the extracellular polymeric substances (EPS) some of these organisms produce can act as seed crystals that provide a start for the precipitation process.

All in all, it is very great work, and I look forward to learning more about whiting events! AmyLynnae (talk) 18:01, 5 November 2019 (UTC)Amy Lynnae