User talk:Jagathi K/sandbox

Notes

Hi Jagathi K! My notes are this:

• Avoid point of view/opinion statements or words like "shocking". It's a bit of a loaded word, as is "novel", so I would instead write something like

"Hakim's concept of erotic capital was met with controversy by some social, economic, and political groups."

Make sure that this claim is sourced, as it's something that could be challenged by other editors.

• When stating that one thing is more important or controversial than another, make sure that you attribute this properly. For example, instead of writing "The most important and most controversial of these seven components would be sexual attractiveness.", I'd instead phrase it like this:

According to Hakim, the most important of these seven components is sexual attractiveness, as her studies found that family men tend to crave sex more than women, a finding that she titled the male sex deficit.

• Do not include anything that isn't explicitly stated in the source material. Unless a claim is specifically made by Hakim or someone in another source, I would not include the claim. An example of this would be the claim "hinting at a sex positive society in which prostitution is legal". Unless she or someone else says this, don't include it.
• The primary sources are OK, but you should also include secondary sources here to show how academia and society (social, economic, political groups, etc) reacted to this in specific. Something like a rebuttal or endorsement by an academic posting in a scholarly text or journal would be good, as would most newspaper articles. There were quite a range of online and print news outlets responding to this, but I'd stick to the academics with this one since some of the news coverage is more aimed at causing a stir and getting clicks than really giving a good overview. You can use them, but make sure that you select the best possible sources. Basically, you want to show a brief overview of the reception that the concept received. You can sum it up along the lines of "Academics such as This-Person opposed the idea, stating that... , while others such as So-And-So stated .... ".

This has some good bones and this is an excellent idea of something to add to the article, since it is something Hakim is fairly well known for. There's some coverage on her page about the sex deficit, but not really anything about the erotic capital concept, which certainly should be included. Shalor (Wiki Ed) (talk) 19:49, 26 March 2018 (UTC)