User talk:Lboconnell/sandbox

So far your article relies heavily on quotes from the organization. You could try to paraphrase some of the lengthier quotes such as the long quotes under Formation and Food Justice. Your article also reads as though it is written in the first person.

I think it may also be useful to explain what a bus depot is. I had to look it up. Based upon my very brief search it looks like somewhere where buses are stored and/or refueled?

I don't know if any of your sources explains why a 28 acre park was built over the North River Sewage Treatment Plant. This doesn't make any sense to me. What kind of park was made? Did the plant have to expand to accommodate a 28 acre park? Was the park able to be used by the public in theory? Would having a park on top of a sewage plant pose any health hazards if someone were to utilize the park? It may also be helpful to expand upon specific actions taken by WE ACT and other groups that lead to the plant correcting its air pollution leak. ScroatScroat (talk) 13:51, 29 March 2017 (UTC)[reply]

The last section on food justice seems a little scattered to me. It was a little difficult for me to divide the quotes from your statements. Maybe add more background and include details about the specific locations you're talking about. Kennedy.aok (talk) 14:16, 29 March 2017 (UTC)[reply]