User talk:Sshively/sandbox
Peer Review: Precious
[edit]Lead Section
[edit]- You did a really good job in including the necessary information in your introductory sentence. I was able to know who she is and what she does.
- You added a good amount of information to the summary that wasn't there before and it hits all major points.
Article
[edit]There is only one subhead and it talks about her accomplishments and her career. I would maybe like to see something about her early life and who she is and what her background is. You can maybe add information on where she grew up, information about her family etc. You may want to also add what influenced her to be the person she is today.
References
[edit]You do a good job at citing the sources after every sentence and including your references in the proper format. PreciousAdemola (talk) 01:36, 18 April 2018 (UTC)
Shawna's peer review for Samantha
[edit]Lead
[edit]I like the quote you added in the lead. It gives insight into who she is. It seems kind of short though still.
Article
[edit]You did a great job of expanding on the original article. It might be helpful to split up the career and activism sections, although I know they are closely intertwined. I would suggest creating separate paragraphs like you mentioned. When speaking about her, I am not sure if you should use her actual last name or "Jones."
References
[edit]Most of the references look good. Check on #9 because there isn't a link or website name or anything related to it. You should include a citation after every sentence even if the whole paragraph is just using the same source.
Peer Review of Feminista Jones: Marilyn Downing
[edit]Lead Section
[edit]Your lead section does a great job of conveying everything that you are going to be talking about in the article and I did not see anything that you left off so you did great.
Article
[edit]I know you said you were worried about how you organized the article but I think you did a great job with the organization and making it more clear than the original article. My only critique would be that there isn't anything on her background/ life growing up so it would be nice if you included that if there are reliable sources on that.
References
[edit]All of your references are great but I would add more if you have not already. There is also one sentence about a survey being done where nothing was cited so I would go back and add the citation there.