User talk:Sweetean/sandbox
Peer Review 11/20/17[edit]
Hello,
Great job so far on your Wikipedia draft, from comparing the original article to your most recent edit, you've obviously done quite a bit of research! Nonetheless, here are a few suggestions that might help you improve the article:
On grammar and sentence-structure, here are some phrases you might consider editing:
--Cavity Wall Tie Corrosion
---"Since cavity wall ties are typically made of metal (iron or steel), they are prone to corrode over time. When metal corrodes, it expands in size, causing ties to lift up from the brickwork. Cracks caused by vertical loads leave parts of buildings vulnerable to corrosion, such as eaves and gable walls above purlin positions, or placed directly beneath openings, where the weight on brickwork is light. Over the time, cracks appear from the top of the wall and extend downward."
---"Cracks due to tie corrosion at the cavity wall are horizontal and tend to occur at the location of wall ties, normally 6 courses apart. The corrosion causes the walls to detach and tilt, resulting in the outer wall snapping outward. The inner wall is held in place by the added support of floor joists. At the gable wall, inner walls without these supporting joists, bow inwards."
Furthermore, I notice that the unedited article in Wikipedia doesn't have any images, if possible, you might consider adding some to better illustrate ties and their functions. Also, while you've added substantial information to the article (great job!), don't forget to cite your sources! Citations would definitely lend credibility to your research. Finally, you might consider adding more information to your section, Identifying Cavity Wall, or it may be best to simply omit it.
Happy Editing!
Ernajera (talk) 19:33, 20 November 2017 (UTC)
Instructor comments[edit]
I generally agree with your peer reviewer's comments, particularly regarding citing sources and the "Identifying Cavity Wall" seeming lost at the end.
Please consider making edits to the existing article, such as:
- Correcting cement vs. mortar in the first sentence, and
- Providing a more clear general overview of the different types of ties before diving into the issues with ferrous metal ones.
Elizabeth Linden Rahway (talk) 05:31, 28 November 2017 (UTC)