User talk:Tmglastinger/sandbox

Peer Review First off, I'm going to assume that the first paragraph on your page is your article. Assuming as such, there are a couple of things I think you article could benefit from: 1.)Substance - I really feel like, even though we are in the early stages of drafting, the author is grasping for straws with little to no information or meat behind what they are saying. While the first couple of sentences have some interesting insight, the article kind of just fizzles out towards the end. 2.)Direction - This point kind of ties into substance, yet there is a definite lack of direction in the sense of where are you going with what is being said. While there is no persuasive thesis or similar essay wrap up - the article should have a main point like a 'moral of the story,' if you will. 3.)Cleanliness - the last point is just a general clean up of what's being said. I'm sure the author was rushing for the deadline, because it is showing in the draft. Try and improve the grammar, conciseness, and tone of the article to make it sound at a collegiate level with interesting sentences.

Overall, the article isn't poor, however it's going to take some solid work to bring it up where it needs to be. I like the topic and its insight into the modern world - try and take some more foreseeable future perspectives? Not bad; needs some work!

Peer Review

I assume the first article is your draft 1)You stated how digital tutoring systems impact students and then gave an example: (tablets). I like that you were able to give an example. Older generations of readers, didn't have digital tutoring systems and providing an example was a great way to cater to your audience. However that may not be the strongest article you should use, consider searching for another one. 2)Be a little more concise; most of your paragraphs can be summarized in two or three sentences. Quality over quantity. This will improve the article by giving it the more casual nature that Wiki Articles want to possess. 3) The best thing you can do for this article is to make sure that all of your ideas flow. Your sandbox is a little all over the place, but the content in there has the potential to be really great! It's just going to take some tweaking but there is a bunch of potential! Jailyn Woods (talk) 04:53, 29 October 2018 (UTC)

article section possible add on

In the college education system, technology use has consistently increased. Data was collected from over 4,700 universities and the results showed that 6.3 million students in the US took at least one online class in the fall of 2016. This is 5.6% increase from the previous year and is the 14th consecutive year that the Babson Survey Research Group has reported an increase in online enrollment. Between 2012 and 2016, the number of students that studied only on the physical campus dropped by about 1 million students, or 6.4%. Public universities were found to have had a 7.3 increase in online enrollments between the fall of 2015 and 2016 and private universities at a 7.1 increase in online enrollments. It was also found that in 2016, 56.1% of students that took strictly online courses lived in the same state as their online university. This figure has increased over time since the finding in 2012, which was that 50.3% of students that lived in the same state as their university. This could be contributed to the fact that instate tuition is cheaper than out of state tuition. New Hampshire, West Virginia and Utah are the universities that receive the greatest number of enrollments from out of state and online-only students. </ref>[2] Jump up ^ https://www.businessinsider.com/how-technology-is-shaping-the-future-of-education-2017-12#artificial-intelligence-is-poised-to-play-an-integral-role-as-well-4. Missing or empty |title= (help) Jump up ^ Friedman, Jordan. "Study: More Students Are Enrolling in Online Courses". U.S News and World Reprt. Retrieved 11/28/2018. Check date values in: |accessdate= (help) — Preceding unsigned comment added by Apurse2 (talk • contribs) 04:02, 29 November 2018 (UTC)