User talk:Trazivious/sandbox

I think that you chose an interesting topic, and it looks like there is a lot that can be added to the page. The very first thing that I noted was that there was no birth death dates listed (just the years would suffice), and I also appreciate it in wiki articles when the age of death is listed in parenthesis after the death date. I noted a lot of the ideas that you want to add to the article, they seem pretty strong, and it's hard to give a critique when there is no actual rough draft of concept using the words you actually want to place into the article, but one thing I would suggest staying away from is words of uncertainty such as "sort of," "around.." etc...I now that most of whats written in the sandbox is just notes, but unless you have hard facts I would hesitate to add it to the article. Good luck, looks like it'll be a good edit when it's all finished. Jgabe (talk) 20:36, 18 March 2018 (UTC)

A few comments to your review. There are birth and death years after the name, you must've just glanced over them. We will add his age at his death. And you may have reviewed the article prior to my initial edits, but the article has been updated in a "rough draft" format, with some facts still left to be added in. Also, in my partners sandbox and soon mine, existences of "uncertain" language has been edited out. Thanks for your review.Trazivious (talk) 15:25, 23 March 2018 (UTC)