User talk:Vmc42/sandbox

Tone

Good start, but the tone is a little off. This is reading more like a paper and less like an encyclopedic entry. Remember to insert references and that every sentence should be facts, not opinions. Look here to review how to cite sentences. Please look at the pages; pisco sour, maple syrup and other wikipedia articles to determine how and what you should include. Also review the Wikipedia Tone Article, Manual of Style and tutorials. Please contact me if you need more guidance. Bryantlib (talk) 00:54, 1 May 2018 (UTC)

Content

Instructor comments: Yes, what Selena said! You must cite statements and include resources. Lost many points due to this. Location (This isn’t clear- where a person is while tasting, or where they are from?) has a huge influence on the consumers’ preferences for each cider flavor profile. What might be considered pleasurable in one area, is seen as a flaw in another part of the world. This greatly diversifies audiences among different communities and is directly reflected in cider preferences. (cite and edit this sentence- instead of ‘audience’, maybe ‘consumers’?) Small businesses can cater to local trends and customize products. A new trending cidery style includes hopped cider. This likely stems from popularity in IPAs in the beer industry. These last two sentences do not fit into an encyclopedia entry. Consumers have certain expectations when they are given a descriptor of a product and cider makers are burdened with filling this idea. (try to word this better) Various factors including specific aromas, phenolics (tannin concentrations might be better hear), color, and mouthfeel (if you say mouthfeel, do you want to omit phenolics, or reword in some other way so it isn’t redundant to say mouthfeel (maybe omit phenolics and use bitterness and mouthfeel; maybe add acidity?) differentiate between these different styles. Of course there are safety regulations for Sulfur (small s) levels and alcohol calculations (is this true?). Because every person has different preferences, there isn’t much criteria ciders have to meet. This sentence is strange, as written. Explain your meaning more or remove it.Oenotropae (talk) 18:45, 4 May 2018 (UTC)

Before making the paragraph 'live'

Remember to work with group members when uploading to the live page to ensure you dont upload the same information. Also consider how you will insert your information into the existing cider page. You may have to break up your sentences or not include everything depending on the information that is already on the page.

PROOFREAD your paragraph before you make your information 'live'.

Before you post make sure one person in your group created a new section on the Cider apple talk page you are uploading to, letting the people watching the page know you are making edits. And also make sure you summarize your final change, when submitting to the live page. If you don't remember how to do these steps, re-watch the tutorial. :)Bryantlib (talk) 16:20, 7 May 2018 (UTC)

Adding information to Cider page

You are inserting information on the Cider page, which is semi-protected. To add your paragraphs to the live page, you will need to have made at least 10 edits. You can do this in several ways; editing in your sandbox or a group member's sandbox, or/and going through and doing the steps in the tutorial all add edits to your username. If you change something and hit 'publish changes' it counts as an edit. The little box called 'Notices' on the top right of all the Wikipedia pages tells you when you have made 10 edits. Bryantlib (talk) 16:20, 7 May 2018 (UTC)

•