Wikipedia:How to Ban a POV You Dislike, in 9 Easy Steps
The events depicted on this page are fictitious. Any similarity to any person living or dead is merely coincidental.
|This page is intended as humor. It is not, has never been, nor will ever be, a Wikipedia policy or guideline.|
Rather, it illustrates standards or conduct that are generally not accepted by the Wikipedia community.
|This page in a nutshell: If you play your cards right, you can make your point of view (POV) on an issue the only one notable enough for inclusion in Wikipedia!|
Pro Tip: For best results, before you start, put a template that says you have a PhD or that you attended an exclusive university on your User page.
- Do your best to bait, prod, and aggravate somebody on the opposing side of an ideological war from yourself into acting uncivil out of frustration with you. If you have friends, get together with them to gang up on your opponents and get them angry and desperate.
- When the opponent finally does something that can be construed as a violation of policy, get a friendly admin to block him/her.
- When the blocked editor uses the means still available to him/her, such as his/her talk page and the e-mail feature, to complain about the unfairness of the block, get your admin friend to bind and gag the editor by removing talk page posting and e-mailing privileges for "trolling" and "harassment".
- With the editor forcibly silenced and thus unable to speak in his/her defense, hold a
lynch mobban discussion on WP:AN/I, with your friends once again ganging up. This works best when the blocked user lacks friends to gang up on his/her behalf; if that happens, you'd really have drama, but if there aren't any, you'll just get an open-and-shut case where you and your friends say "Burn the witch!""Ban him/her already!", and a handful of people who like to see a good lynchingbanning and hang out on that forum for that purpose weigh in too.
- Now that an editor representing the POV you oppose is banned, make the banned editor into a bogeyman responsible for all that is wrong with Wikipedia, claiming that everything that editor believes in is
Communisma "fringe belief" or a "harassment meme", and that no tactic is too extreme to counter this grave threat. They should block all IP addresses in Upper Slobbovia if that's where they think the banned editor is editing from!
- If anybody else shows up with similar opinions on any subject to the banned editor, try to accuse him/her of being a
comradesockpuppet. If that won't stick, call him/her a meatpuppet and claim that he/she is proxying for the banned editor, and that everything they edit needs to be reverted on sight.
- If they call this treatment unfair,
blacklistban them too.
- The larger the body count from the serial banning of advocates of this particular POV gets, the easier it will be to summarily ban anybody new who shows up; just cite the "serial harassment" allegedly committed by people allegedly associated with the new editor.
- Award barnstars to everyone who jumped on the dogpile!!!