Wikipedia:WikiProject Biography/Peer review/Hamish Peacock
Peer Review
[edit]I would like to know how I can expand this article. It has just been approved as a DYK and is in a bit of a runt (most edits are: copy edits, fixing templates and other small fixes). What can i do to improve Hamish Peacock? NickGibson3900 (talk) 11:14, 4 July 2014 (UTC)
Comments from Shudde
Hey. I'll make a few brief comments. Hopefully you'll find them valuable.
- The article could use for a general expansion. It is very short. How much material you can add depends on finding appropriate reliable sources of course.
- Where was he born?
- A few statements could use clarification, for example "He is the seventh-best Australian of all time in the javelin" could be confusing to some readers (such as me). How is this determined? Does this mean he has the seventh best distance/throw? Or does it mean only six Australian athletes have thrown further? Clarification would help.
- Have a read through WP:NUMERAL and see if you should write "4th" or "fourth". I get the feeling it's the latter but am not sure.
- You've got a deleted file up there (File:Hamish Peacock throwing a javelin.jpg) -- make sure that any file you upload to wikipedia or commons is a appropriately licensed. If you're not sure how that works, see Wikipedia:Uploading images for more help.
- "has trained in the Javelin throw" is Javelin supposed to be capitalised?
- In the sections under Competitions you mention the word "javelin" a lot. Is there a way to reword to reduce the use of this word? Such close-repetition of words can make articles a little hard to read.
- Lead could be expanded a little bit, just more on what competitions and achievements (specifically) he has. Probably another sentence is all that's needed.
All in all not a bad start an article. Main suggestion is expansion. I have not checked the references, or for close-paraphrasing. Hope my comments have been helpful. -- Shudde talk 11:18, 7 July 2014 (UTC)