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Triangle Foundation[edit]

Also considering this article for B class and ultimately would like to nominate it for GA class. Varnent

  • Comment The citations need formatting - I have formatted citation 12 as an example. LuciferMorgan 18:18, 31 July 2007 (UTC)[reply]

Belovedfreak[edit]

This is looking pretty good so far. A couple of things:

  • I agree with LuciferMorgan's comment. See WP:CITE.
  • The lead could be expanded somewhat, to better summarise the article. It should be able to act as a stand-alone summary. See WP:LEAD.
  • Everything in the lead section should be in the main article, (expanded) and as a result youshouldn't need citations in the lead, because they'll be in the main article.
  • In the "Community Building Program" it says "our events" which makes it sound a bit like advertising / promo.
  • Following on from that, statements like "...this program attempts to instill a sense of activism and need for community involvement..." without citations, well how do we know? It sounds like it's written by the organisation.
  • The four events mentioned in that section could do with being expanded.
  • I think in general it needs more third party references. Maybe the same ones already being used, but used more often so there aren't as many unsourced statements, especially about goals / intentions.
  • Maybe a little more about the history, who founded it, the circumstances etc?
  • The logo needs a Fair use rationale.
  • I don't know if it would be possible to get any pictures, maybe of the events. That would be a great addition.
  • I added "American" to the lead sentence. I hope you don't mind. Otherwise it is not immediately obvious to non-Americans where this organisation is. There are too many articles that don't explicitly state that the topic is American, or British or whatever.

Hope some of this helps! --Belovedfreak 11:31, 2 August 2007 (UTC)[reply]

  • Yes that all helps a great deal. I'll be out of town for a couple of weeks. However, I'll be sure to implement those suggestions when I return - thank you! -Varnent 02:19, 4 August 2007 (UTC)[reply]
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