Wikipedia:WikiProject Military history/Peer review/USS Comfort (AH-3)
Appearance
I have recently expanded and improved this article and would like to get some feedback on what else is necessary. Thanks in advance. — Bellhalla (talk) 22:56, 3 April 2008 (UTC)
Woody
[edit]Excellent article I have to say. I have done a little copyedit, but there wasn't much to copyedit to be honest. Seems to meet the MOS. I have a couple of questions though.
- You say she faced the "prospect of" quarantine. Was that realised?
- Can you rephrase They were in the first group of the first American troop convoy the repitition is annoying me, but I can't seem to find a way around it.
- After consideration of re-outfitting the ship for dependent transport was rejected, What is dependent transport? Could this sentence be rephrased slightly; consideration of re-outfitting just doesn't flow for me.
Otherwise, as I say, looks very good to me. Go for A-Class. Woody (talk) 20:18, 6 April 2008 (UTC)
- "Prospect of quarantine": The news coverage from The New York Times was not necessarily complete. If I recall correctly, it was announced that the ship was going to be in quarantine but there was no follow up on whether or not it actually did.
- "first group of the first convoy": I changed it to "lead group" which avoid the repetition but also conveys that it was first.
- 'Dependent transport' was bringing home war brides and children from overseas. I've rephrased it and combined that sentence with the next short one, too.
- Thanks for taking the time to review the article. — Bellhalla (talk) 22:24, 6 April 2008 (UTC)
- No problem. Your fixes look good. I would remove the "prospect of quarantine" or rephrase it unless you can find a source discussing whether it did go into quarantine. It is a bit of a loose end at the moment. Woody (talk) 22:36, 6 April 2008 (UTC)
- OK. I looked back at the original source, then searched the next day's paper and got it resolved. The ship would have been detained in Havana (not New York) and was released after 1 day. Text and additional reference now reflect this. Thanks again for you suggestions. — Bellhalla (talk) 00:50, 7 April 2008 (UTC)
- No problem. Your fixes look good. I would remove the "prospect of quarantine" or rephrase it unless you can find a source discussing whether it did go into quarantine. It is a bit of a loose end at the moment. Woody (talk) 22:36, 6 April 2008 (UTC)