Wikipedia:Peer review/Jeff Buckley/archive1

Jeff Buckley

Anything to upgrade the Page from its apparent present B-Class, to an A-Class. Seems rather well researched with references for nearly everything. I suppose layout could be improved. Any suggestions would be warmly welcomed.G.AC 18:20, 28 February 2007 (UTC)

I would also appreciate greatly help in promoting the improvement of the page and, hopefully, eventually making this a featured article. G.AC 18:24, 28 February 2007 (UTC)

• Please see automated peer review suggestions here. Thanks, APR _t 00:13, 1 March 2007 (UTC)

AnonEMouse

Not a bad article at all, extremely thorough (if anything too thorough!) The phrasing is a bit clumsy in spots. There are also a lot of inline quotations here; while I don't have specific suggestions about that, note that I got a lot of heat for too many quotations from the subject at my FAC review, though I only had 6 or so total. Consider reducing.

• I'm not so sure the image is a publicity photo from a press kit, it seems to be sourced to a magazine's site. Can you contact jeffbuckley.com and ask if they will release a few images under Creative Commons or GFDL? See WP:COPYREQ.
• descent[2], - move ref after punctuation fixed. Dissolve 19:26, 17 March 2007 (UTC)
• About his father Buckley said, "I never knew him." "I met him once, when I was 8."[4] Tim Buckley died two months later of a drug overdose in 1975.[5] - clumsy, rephrase, possibly move down a paragraph after being raised by stepfather. Explain why father lived apart. Moved and elaboratedSillyfolkboy (talk) 18:21, 23 April 2008 (UTC)
• What is a "stepfather of only 2 years"? Phrase no longer presentSillyfolkboy (talk) 17:41, 23 April 2008 (UTC)
• Buckley said, and grew up singing - clumsy, rephrase Split into 2 sentences. Dissolve 22:51, 17 March 2007 (UTC)
• Buckley said, and received - clumsy, rephrase Split into 2 sentences. Dissolve 22:51, 17 March 2007 (UTC)
• He played the occasional funk and R&B studio session as well[24] - "as well" is extra agreed. removed. Dissolve 22:37, 17 March 2007 (UTC)
• He was introduced to Qawwali at this time, the devotional music of - remove "at this time" Removed this. Dissolve 19:45, 17 March 2007 (UTC)
• "I idolize Nusrat,"[29] Buckley would later say. - injection of the present tense mixed with past makes this clumsy. restated as fact. Dissolve 23:27, 17 March 2007 (UTC)
• The tape was hoped to - rephrase Reworded this. Dissolve 23:27, 17 March 2007 (UTC)
• a development deal with Gods and Monsters - in other words G&M was offered the deal, not Buckley? Then say so. Now stated as "a member of G&M"Sillyfolkboy (talk) 17:45, 23 April 2008 (UTC)
• Buckley was an impassioned fan of Pakistani Sufi musician Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan, and during his cafe days Buckley had often covered his songs. He interviewed Khan for Interview magazine and wrote liner notes for Khan's The Supreme Collection compilation. - why is this under Concert tours? I'd move it up with the earlier mention. Can you find (and reference) the interview? Now in early career section with link to Interview article Sillyfolkboy (talk) 17:37, 23 April 2008 (UTC)
• The autopsy confirmed that Buckley had taken no illegal drugs before his swim - why was there suspicion of this? Write something about him being or not being a drug user, in an earlier section. Most musicians are reported to be, but we can't just take it as assumed. Ruling out cause of death and clarifying situation previously added Sillyfolkboy (talk) 23:17, 27 April 2008 (UTC)
• What exactly was so remarkable about his songs? Why did he succeed? Interesting lyrics, large vocal range, did he play the guitar very well, what? What were their distinctive characteristics - how can you tell his works from those of the next fifteen musicians?

--AnonEMouse ^(squeak) 20:46, 13 March 2007 (UTC)

Many good points here. Thanks. I'm guessing that using alot of quotations in considered un-encyclopaedic? is there a link to any guidelines, style guide or discussions on the use of quotations? that would help. Dissolve 19:26, 17 March 2007 (UTC)

Here is my FAC review that I refer to Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/Jenna Jameson, and continued in Talk:Jenna Jameson. The article had about 6 and got jumped on, it now has even fewer and is still getting heat: "This article implicitly endorses its subject's opinions as fact. This is not acceptable for an encyclopaedia article - it's magazine style writing...." and so forth. They didn't/don't cite specific policies either. I can't say I agree with all these criticisms, and the article did make it to FA despite them, but I thought you should at least be aware of the issues. Mine was also an inherently more controversial subject, so you may get less heat. --AnonEMouse ^(squeak) 16:11, 19 March 2007 (UTC)