Talk:External morphology of Lepidoptera/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Stemonitis (talk) 09:04, 22 January 2011 (UTC)

Declaration: I am a minor contributor to the article, and have previously been asked to make suggestions about its content. --Stemonitis (talk) 09:04, 22 January 2011 (UTC)

Detailed comments will follow shortly. --Stemonitis (talk) 09:04, 22 January 2011 (UTC)

First pass

Well, it's a sizeable article, and my initial impressions are very positive. I've only managed to read half of it in detail, but I thought I'd leave you comments on that now, so that you had something to be getting on with. In no particular order, then:

• There are a number of links to disambiguation pages (see link in box above): Caudate, Cocoon, Costa, Cremaster, Dentate, Echolocation, Frenulum, Homology, Retinaculum, Tagma (from tagmata). Done AshLin (talk) 16:37, 12 February 2011 (UTC)
• I would recommend using |upright| in images which are portrait, so that they are the same overall size as the landscape images.  Done. Some images given the upright argument. Please indicate if any others need to be given this argument. To me, as of now, the issue seems to be brought under control. AshLin (talk) 03:05, 13 February 2011 (UTC)

• Yes, that looks fine to me now. --Stemonitis (talk) 20:15, 17 February 2011 (UTC)

•  Done AshLin (talk) 00:19, 18 February 2011 (UTC)

• I would be tempted to replace the image galleries with {{multiple image}}, which allows you to add a header explaining the encyclopaedic point of the images (e.g. "Variation in head morphology"). I think the overall number of images could probably be reduced, too. For example, when demonstrating the great variation in wing form, a single row would probably be enough, because the reader will have seen plenty of other images of typical Lepidoptera throughout the article. In that case, I would suggest the images of Pterophoridae, Syntomeida epilais, Palumbina guerinii and Hemaris diffinis; the remaining images are of less unusual leps.
  • Seeing that encyclopedias and books sometimes provide a gallery of images giving many examples or modifications, I'm a little reluctant to reduce the number of images, especially since Wikipedia has the capability of hosting many more images in an article than an article on the same topic in a book or journal. I'd rather provide more than less of course remembering that each and every image should have encyclopedic value. However, I'll reduce some images. The Lycaenid tail would probably be better suited elsewhere where the role of morphological characters help the survival of the insects. Still pending as a point. AshLin (talk) 03:17, 13 February 2011 (UTC)
• The etymology in the lead appears to have been slightly mangled. The source actually gives "lepis", not "lepteron", and I would suggest linking to λεπίς / λεπίδος (i.e. {{lang|el|[[:wikt:λεπίς|λεπίς]]}}). In fact, use the etymology from the section "Scales", which appears to be correct. Done AshLin (talk) 16:45, 12 February 2011 (UTC)
• The lead also includes unfamiliar terms such as "obtect" and "adecticous". These need either to be explained there and then, or left out until they are discussed in detail later. Even in the section on "General body plan", where they re-appear, these terms are not explained at all. Done AshLin (talk) 16:54, 12 February 2011 (UTC).  Done AshLin (talk) 17:34, 12 February 2011 (UTC).
• Lists comprising sentence fragments, such as "Distinguishing taxonomic features", should not have full stops at the end. In each case, check if the list could be converted into prose. It may not be possible, but if it is, the manual of style prefers the prose alternative.
  • The source has these features listed in prose. They were converted to a list while rewriting to avoid plagiarism. Please check source cited as a reference. AshLin (talk) 16:59, 12 February 2011 (UTC)
• There are some instances where a reference is given in both "Harvard style", and using <ref> tags (e.g. "within the lumen of some scales (Poladian et al., 2008).^[37]"). I can't see any reason to retain the Harvard-style references.  Done AshLin (talk) 17:34, 12 February 2011 (UTC).
• We are told that the "fore-legs in the Papilionoidea exhibit reduction of various forms", but only one form of reduction is mentioned. Either re-word the sentence or provide further examples. Done AshLin (talk) 02:59, 13 February 2011 (UTC)

I'll be back to read the second half before too long. --Stemonitis (talk) 07:37, 27 January 2011 (UTC)

Second pass

Here goes:

• The various instances of ref. [23] only cite pages 39–40, so move that information from {{rp}} to {{cite}}. Likewise, [24] is only cited once, so move pages to {{cite}}. For all others, where possible, move {{rp}} to {{cite}}.
  • Reduced to minimum necessary.  Done AshLin (talk) 13:22, 17 February 2011 (UTC)

• Scales: Colour – I assume that "(Argyros etal 2001)" is ref. [38].

Since I am quoting Argyrops et al, would it be correct to remove the inline attribution? AshLin (talk) 05:27, 17 February 2011 (UTC)

• An inline citation will suffice; it doesn't need an additional, "Harvard-style" reference. --Stemonitis (talk) 20:15, 17 February 2011 (UTC)

•  Done AshLin (talk) 00:41, 18 February 2011 (UTC)

• Make sure dashes follow WP:MOSDASH – don't use hyphens in place of n-dashes ("the most complex photonic scale architectures known – regular three-dimensional periodic lattices", "androconia (singular – androconium)"). This also applies to page numbers, whether in {{rp}} or elsewhere.
  • Done my best. Willing to learn more. Please recheck. AshLin (talk) 17:28, 17 February 2011 (UTC)

• Looks OK to me now. --Stemonitis (talk) 20:15, 17 February 2011 (UTC)

•  Done AshLin (talk) 00:41, 18 February 2011 (UTC)

• Scales: Function – I would link "warning" to aposematism, and re-phrase "communicate their aposematism (toxicity or inedibility)" to "communicate their toxicity or inedibility", since aposematism strictly refers to the warning, not the toxicity.
  • It now reads: ...which are distasteful to predators help [[aposematism|communicate]] their toxicity or inedibility, thus preventing a predator from preying on it.. Will this do? AshLin (talk) 08:28, 17 February 2011 (UTC)

• Good solution. --Stemonitis (talk) 20:15, 17 February 2011 (UTC)

 Done AshLin (talk) 00:41, 18 February 2011 (UTC)

• Scales: Androconia – link sexual selection.  Done AshLin (talk) 08:28, 17 February 2011 (UTC)

• Abdomen: "The Noctuoidea also have tympana, located on the underside of the metathorax." I think I would re-phrase this "..., but in their case they are located ...", to clarify that these tympana are not on the abdomen.  Done AshLin (talk) 08:28, 17 February 2011 (UTC)

• Should "Genitalia" be a subheading of "Abdomen"?  Done AshLin (talk) 17:52, 16 February 2011 (UTC)

• Genitalia: gloss "ductus bursae"

I did not understand. Please explain more clearly. AshLin (talk) 17:52, 16 February 2011 (UTC)

• Sorry. Explain what ductus bursae is/are, in general terms. --Stemonitis (talk) 20:15, 17 February 2011 (UTC)
  •  Done. AshLin (talk) 11:44, 22 February 2011 (UTC)

• link spermatheca.  Done AshLin (talk) 13:23, 17 February 2011 (UTC)

• Could "Morphology of early stages of life" be shortened to "Development"?  Done. AshLin (talk) 04:24, 16 February 2011 (UTC)

• "... a dormant developmental stage called a pupa". Is it really dormant, or just sessile? I always thought of the metamorphosis as rather metabolically active.  Done AshLin (talk) 13:28, 17 February 2011 (UTC)

• Perhaps shorten the Caterpillar and Pupa sections: for summary style, they seem quite long.

 Done. Moved material on sawfly and pupal mating to Caterpillar and Pupa respectively as they could be considered not directly concerned with topic. Most people would look at caterpillar of they had a problem of identification, so though it is morphological in nature, it won't be missed in this article.AshLin (talk) 01:20, 18 February 2011 (UTC)

• "Some leaf-mining microlepidoptera lack segmented thoracic legs." doesn't seem to fit in the proleg paragraph and repeats information from the previous paragraph. It could probably be removed.  Done AshLin (talk) 13:33, 17 February 2011 (UTC)

• Having discussed the differences between sawfly larvae and lepidopteran larvae, it might be nice to include at least one illustration of a sawfly larva. (I remember it taking me ages to identify the larva of Abia sericea once, because I had assumed it was a lep.) If you need to remove an image from the gallery to make space without running to an extra row, you could remove "Caterpiller of Common Aspen Leafminer Phyllocnistis populiella, Family", which would save you from having to fix that caption.
  • Already present - see fourth image in section "Caterpillar". :-) AshLin (talk) 17:52, 16 February 2011 (UTC)

• Oh yes. It isn't obvious that that image is connected to that paragraph. Perhaps you could add "(see image on right)" or something, after "... the larvae of sawflies". --Stemonitis (talk) 20:15, 17 February 2011 (UTC)

•  Done but wonder if wp:self applies. AshLin (talk) 00:41, 18 February 2011 (UTC)

• Moved sawfly material to Caterpillar to reduce section length vide point above. AshLin (talk) 01:21, 18 February 2011 (UTC)

• "... with the family Sphingidae considered to be the most evolved." This phrasing is very old-fashioned. While we might call Sphingidae the "most derived" these days, the source appears to be an old one, and the author probably had something else in mind. It might be best to remove the phrase entirely if no more recent reference is available.  Done AshLin (talk) 01:27, 18 February 2011 (UTC)

• Shorten "Morphological characters in defense and predation" to "Defence and predation"?  Done AshLin (talk) 04:24, 16 February 2011 (UTC)

• See also – The image of antennal forms seems out of place. I would prefer to see links to portals here: {{Portal|Insects|Arthropods}}, not least because once this passes GA, it will be listed on both of those as a selected article.

 Done. I used to place old, relevant, good-looking images for decorative purposes at the article end. I have since discontinued this practice. AshLin (talk) 17:51, 16 February 2011 (UTC)

Once all these little things have been taken care of, I'll proof-read the whole article and see if anything else crops up, although I'm not expecting to find much.

Third pass

OK, so it's taking me longer than I expected, and I'm finding more little problems than I expected. Sorry about that. I've been going through in more detail, and I've got as far as the end of the "Head" section. I'll deal with the rest soon, but again, I'll give you my comments so far, rather than keep you hanging on. --Stemonitis (talk) 08:44, 27 February 2011 (UTC)

• The article begins "Lepidoptera morphology...". This should probably read "The external morphology of butterflies and moths..." or something similar, in line with the current title.
• "The head is capsular with appendages." The meaning isn't clear to me here.
• "In some butterfly genera such as Libythea and Taractrothera the knob is hollowed underneath." This is the first mention of a knob, so it needs to be explained.
• "Like most insects, Lepidoptera antennae also have Johnston's organ which senses any stretching between the pedicel and the rest of the antenna." To what end?
• "de-focussed" vs "fully focussed". What is the significance of this distinction? I also think that "de-focussed" suggests taking a focussed image and then blurring it, whereas "unfocussed" would suggest it was never focussed in the first place.
• "The palpi are ... upward pointed, ... curving up in front of the face. Typically [they are] erect (curved upwards). ... [They] may be 'erect' (curved up in front of the face) ..." This section seems quite repetitive. It could probably be reduced to a couple of carefully worded sentences.
• "Palpi consist of [three joints]." This is pedantic, but surely the palpi consist of segments, which are connected by the joints.
• Maxillary palpi should probably be dealt with under "Mouthparts".
• "Others, such as the basal family Micropterigidae..." Link basal?
• "The proboscis contains muscles for operating." Operating what?
• "Suction takes place due to..." This awkward wording should be replaced by "Suction is achieved by..." or "Suction is effected through...", or something similar.
• "There is a scaling relationship between body mass of Lepidoptera and length of proboscis." I take it this means that body size and proboscis length are (positively) correlated. Is this either surprising or relevant?

Response

Sorry, just noticed this page at the moment. Will respond over the next three-four days. Thanks for your patience. AshLin (talk) 12:03, 12 February 2011 (UTC)

Some side notes

• Their seems to be a lot of redundant citations in the lead. The information in the lead should, for the most part repeat the information of the article, rather than introduce new information. Bugboy52.4 ¦ =-= 03:48, 22 February 2011 (UTC)
  • Will work on reducing this vide WP:LEADCITE. There is no new information, lead summarises article. Will recheck this aspect. AshLin (talk) 11:42, 22 February 2011 (UTC)

• Their seems to be a lot of bullet point list, was that an aesthetic choice? Bugboy52.4 ¦ =-= 03:48, 22 February 2011 (UTC)
  •  Done. Reduced two lists of three points each to prose. Remaining are required to be maintained as lists imho. These lists were mostly bulleted because where I was copying them from they were in prose. Converting points in prose form to a bulletted list is a legitimate form of rewriting to avoid copyvio concerns. Where many points are in bulleted form, converting to prose makes it lessaccessible, understandable and often makes it difficult to make out how many points/facts are present. AshLin (talk) 11:02, 22 February 2011 (UTC)

• Their are also a lot of galleries, and images that seem redundant, For example their are two diagrams of the butterfly under External Morphology. Bugboy52.4 ¦ =-= 03:48, 22 February 2011 (UTC)
  •  Done. Reduced one image of morphology. Disagree regarding images too many. The galleries are required to display some of the most prominent of very large varieties of morphological features. All insect encyclopaedias have huge image sections. See pages pg 565, 570, 579, 584 of Reshe & Carde. AshLin (talk) 11:14, 22 February 2011 (UTC)

Thank you for your comments. Having internet problems hence unable to do much more than email and a reply. Will address the issues you outlined once my connectivity returns. AshLin (talk) 04:08, 22 February 2011 (UTC)