Sexual Harassment Panda

Template:Infobox South Park episode Sexual Harassment Panda is episode 306 of Comedy Central's animated series South Park. It originally aired on July 7, 1999.

Plot

Template:Spoiler Mr. Garrison's class is visited by a friendly educational mascot, Petey the Sexual Harassment Panda (apparently played by a man named Tom Morris), who attempts to teach the kids about sexual harassment so as to prevent it in school. During the visit, Stan calls Cartman an "ass-sucker", and Cartman, inspired by the Panda's teaching, sues Stan for sexual harassment; Kyle's father, Gerald Broflofski, acts as his lawyer, and Cartman wins half of Stan's possessions. Gerald then decides to encourage Cartman (and later others) not only to sue each other but also the teachers and the school, leading to chaos throughout the town as he gets rich. Kyle quickly becomes the target of many people's wrath, while Gerald continues to renovate their house into a mansion with his newly-gained assets.

Because the school board needs to cut costs, Sexual Harassment Panda is fired, and because he cannot get a new job ("It's because I'm a panda, isn't it?"), he goes to the Island of Misfit Mascots Commune, for mascots whose messages are dumb or who simply can make no sense (e.g., Oinky the Run-Around-With-Scissors Pig). The boys, however, seeing the negative results of the lawsuits on their school, track him down and convince him to return to town with a new message. Meanwhile, Gerald is litigating the biggest sexual harassment lawsuit ever, Everyone v. Everyone, where he represents everyone who hires him to take on everyone else.

The Panda arrives back in South Park under a new name, Petey the Don't Sue People Panda, and delivers a sermon on how people shouldn't sue each other constantly because it does nothing but damage the school system, taking away money from classrooms, schools and themselves, the taxpayers. The people, realizing the sagacity of this statement, angrily cry that they should sue Gerald, who quickly agrees to file no more lawsuits about sexual harassment in schools or anywhere else. In the end, all the sexual harassment suits are dropped, Stan gets his possessions back, but the one who suffers the most is Gerald, who is disappointed to see his mansion revert back to a regular two-story house.

Trivia

• This was the first episode aired after the release of South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut, which hit theaters one week earlier.
• This episode satirizes the widely publicized lawsuits over sexual harassment in schools that occurred in the late 1990s.
• The Island of Misfit Mascots Commune is a parody of The Island of Misfit Toys from Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer.
• Parker and Stone indicated in the DVD commentary that the Panda is actually Santa Claus, as they have the same voice.
• Quotes from this episode sparked the "sad panda" Internet meme.
• The Sexual Harassment Panda's theme song is probably a spoof of the Winnie-the-Pooh theme song, with a similar tune and the phrase "silly bear" being used.
• The alphabet above states "Az By Cx Dw Ev Fu Gt Hs Ir Jq Kp Lo Mn Nm Ol Pk Qj Ri Sh Tg Uf Ve Wd Xc Yb Za"

Sexual Harassment Panda's Song Lyrics

Who lives in the east 'neath the willow tree?

Sexual Harassment Panda!

Who explains sexual harassment to you and me?

Sexual Harassment Panda!

"Don't say that, don't touch there,

"Don't be nasty," says the silly bear,

He's come to tell you what's right and wrong,

Sexual Harassment Panda!

Kenny's Death

Kenny is shredded through a whirling fan blade, courtesy of Jimmy the "Don't Hold Onto a Large Magnet While Someone Else Uses a Fan Nearby" Falcon.