User:Emeraude/temp

This is a suggested format for the introduction section of the British National Party article. For more detail, see the discussion page at Talk:British National Party#Intro gripes, which is where the discussion should be continued (not here).

Please do not edit the suggested format, but feel free to add comments or post alternative versions below.

This page is temporary. I do intend to maintain it after progress has been made on the article.

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Version 1

The British National Party (BNP) is a far right political party in the United Kingdom. founded in 1980 by John Tyndall, a former chairman of the National Front (NF). In 1999, Nick Griffin replaced Tyndall as BNP leader.

Mainstream political parties in the UK oppose the BNP. The party has been strongly criticised by Conservative Party leader David Cameron, former Liberal Democrats leader Sir Menzies Campbell and former Labour Party Prime Minister Tony Blair, among others.

The BNP is best known, historically and today, for its controversial views on race and immigration. The party describes itself as nationalist but is condemned by outsiders as fascist and racist, largely on account ot its past history and the previous actions of its leaders. Under John Tyndall's leadership, the BNP had strong anti-Semitic tendencies, but in recent times, the BNP has focussed more on Muslims.

In the 2005 UK General Election the party fielded 119 candidates (none of whom was elected) receiving 0.7% of the popular vote and finishing eighth overall. In the Welsh Assembly Election 2007 it came fifth overall. It has 56 councillors in local government in England.

Version 2

The British National Party (BNP) is a political party in the United Kingdom, founded in 1980 by John Tyndall, a former chairman of the National Front. Nick Griffin replaced Tyndall in 1999 as leader of the BNP, and the party has since enjoyed much greater political success.

The BNP is best known, historically and today, for its often controversial views on race and immigration. The party describes itself as nationalist or "conservative with a small 'c'", however, interpretation of the BNP's ideology has been a common source of contention. Criticisms of fascism and racism still dog the party, due in no small part to past history and previous actions of figures within the party; under John Tyndall's leadership the BNP was often regarded as openly anti-Semitic. Despite attempts at modernisation, criticism of the party and its policies remains; particularly their strong stance on Islam.

In the 2005 UK General Election the party fielded 119 candidates receiving 0.7% of the popular vote and finishing eighth overall with no seats won. In the Welsh Assembly Election 2007 the BNP came fifth overall, while very nearly electing an MP. It has 56 councillors in local government in England.

Mainstream political parties in the UK have often directly opposed the BNP; the party has been criticised by Conservative Party leader David Cameron, former Liberal Democrats leader Sir Menzies Campbell and former Labour Party Prime Minister Tony Blair, among others. Contribution unsigned on 1 January 2008 by Sinthesizer (talk)

Response to version 2

Some good re-ordering. I think it's fair to say that the introduction should be short and concise, should give a flavour of what is to follow and should avoid 'editorial' comment'. With this in mind, I have a few comments to make:

A far-right needs to be in the first sentence, as it places the party within the wider sphere of politics. (Earlier discussions agreed with this, I believe.)

B "and the party has since enjoyed much greater political success" is not sustainable, being as it is an opinion (and seeing as the BNP has gone from zero MPs to no MPs, where is the wider success?)

C In the second paragraph, there are too many unnecessary qualifiers (e.g. "often controversial"; "common source of contention"; "still dog the party"; "due in no small part"; "often regarded"). Similarly in fourth paragraph: "have often directly opposed". All of these can be deleted making the text easier to read and, incidentally, more accurate with less chance of POV accusations.

D I'm not aware that the BNP regularly describes itself as "conservative with a small 'c'" (and the link provided does not go anywhere useful to evidence this). But even if it does so describe itself, so what? So, at one time or another has just about every party and indivisual in the country for one reason or another, myself included! The phrase is meaningless and, besides, the introduction is no place to hand editorial control to the subject of the article. Their views can be made clear later.

E The sentence beginning "Despite attempts at modernisation..." is rather pointless in this context. The 'modernisation' is dealt with in the body of the article; the modernisation has not affected its policies and ideology, which after all, are the cause of the criticism being discussed.

F While 'criticism' is being discussed, it is natural that mention is made of who is criticising, so the paragraph on other parties' views should precede the results paragraph.

G On electoral performance, I'm not sure that the figures are entirely accurate now (see other peoples' edits recently), though otherwise this is a good summary. Are you sure they nearly got someone elected in Wales? The figures don't look that close to me. (Incidentally, they are AMs, not MPs.)

We're not far apart, but it's a shame no one else is offering suggestions. Can two be a consensus?!?! Emeraude (talk) 22:21, 1 January 2008 (UTC)

version 3

They have received greater political success, I think no-one would dispute that; greater shares of the vote at General, Scottish and Welsh and Euro elections and many more local councillors and party members. I worded the quote wrong, but in the link they do describe themselves as small-c conservatives :-). Some qualifiers are necessary, unless one believes that there exists a "universal truth"

The British National Party (BNP) is a far-right political party in the United Kingdom, founded in 1980 by John Tyndall, a former chairman of the National Front. Nick Griffin replaced Tyndall in 1999 as leader of the BNP, and the party has since enjoyed greater political success.

The BNP is best known, historically and today, for its views on race and immigration. Interpretation of the BNP's ideology has been a common source of contention. Criticisms of fascism and racism dog the party due to past history and previous actions of figures within the party; under John Tyndall's leadership the BNP was often regarded as openly anti-Semitic. Despite attempts at modernisation, criticism of the party and its policies remains; particularly their strong stance on Islam.

Mainstream political parties in the UK have often opposed the BNP; the party has been criticised by Conservative Party leader David Cameron, former Liberal Democrats leader Sir Menzies Campbell and former Labour Party Prime Minister Tony Blair, among others. Contribution unsigned on 1 January 2008 by Sinthesizer (talk)

In the 2005 UK General Election the party fielded 119 candidates receiving 0.7% of the popular vote and finishing eighth overall with no seats won. In the Welsh Assembly Election 2007 the BNP came fifth overall, very nearly electing an MP. It has 56 councillors in local government in England.