Wikipedia:Requests for feedback/2010 July 13

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http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Deaconbagshaw/Artanker_Convoy

I just added footnote citations, as per a suggestion from a volunteer editor. Anything else?

~~Deaconbagshaw (talk) 03:37, 13 July 2010 (UTC)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/YouCut

~~Njmike (talk) 04:53, 13 July 2010 (UTC)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Offside_%282009_film%29

Article about a 2009 film made in Adelaide, South Australia.

~~Kwah-LeBaire (talk) 05:15, 13 July 2010 (UTC)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gian_Carlo_Petraccaro

An article about an Adelaide movie director.

~~Kwah-LeBaire (talk) 05:17, 13 July 2010 (UTC)

Live Native

I posted a request for feedback for this new article on 4 July, but have not yet received any response, so I'm reposting this request. Looking forward to your comments!

~~PressedBack (talk) 09:20, 13 July 2010 (UTC)

I see a number of issues in this article.

1. Occasional use of unnecessary superlatives. e.g. 'Live Native is the first skincare company in Scotland to produce products made from...' Why is the fact that no other company in Scotland do this important? Can Scotland not import skincare products? Perhaps it would be better to say 'Live Native is a Scottish company producing "raw skincare" products. These products are made from...'
2. Is this article about a company or about raw skincare? Obviously raw skincare should be described to a small extent, but I think much of this article should actually go into a different article called Raw skincare. The article could be similar too (and provide a link to) Raw foodism.
3. Some of the claims about raw skincare seem exceptional and exceptional claims require exceptional sources. Saying "there is some evidence that..." may still be giving the claims undue weight. On the other hand, if you write an actual article on raw skincare, there should be room in that article to discuss the claims made for it and what is the nature of any evidence supporting those claims.

Yaris678 (talk) 11:58, 13 July 2010 (UTC)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Joeyjoec/EstuaryTransitDistrict

This is an article about the Estuary Transit District in Old Saybrook, CT.

~~Joeyjoec (talk) 12:48, 13 July 2010 (UTC)

Robb_Forman_Dew

I need feedback or an edit so that I can remove the template on this new page for author Robb Forman Dew, who's first book Dale Loves Sophie to Death is already a wiki entry.

~~Somewikiwork (talk) 16:35, 13 July 2010 (UTC)

Duro Bag http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Gcorwin/Duro_Bag_Mfg#Company_Executives

I would like to know if the article that I have created for a company profile has a sufficient amount of content, relevance and citations to be published.

~~Gcorwin (talk) 18:20, 13 July 2010 (UTC)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hair_Fairies

Hiya! I am the author of this article, it was posted in March 2010. I am hoping some kind soul could please review it, so then it can become a fully fledged entry, as no one reviewed it yet. Thank you!

~~82.4.181.140 (talk) 18:21, 13 July 2010 (UTC)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hair_Fairies

Hiya, I am the author of this article (sorry forgot to log in last request, doh), I would love someone to give me feedback, so I could fix it, or that the template box could be removed, thank you so much!

~~Dominic451 (talk) 18:25, 13 July 2010 (UTC)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anthems_(Kerry_Ellis_album)

I would like feedback to ensure this page becomes a properly certified page of Wikipedia, as I throughly think it deserves to be.

~~86.22.210.53 (talk) 18:42, 13 July 2010 (UTC)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Brooklyngirl11215/the_panic_zone

Drafted an article about a new bestselling thriller novel, The Panic Zone, that includes a synopsis and critical response.

~~Brooklyngirl11215 (talk) 19:26, 13 July 2010 (UTC)

Victoria Espinel is a new article

I just created a page for Victoria Espinel; she's a fairly major figure in the US Government (and, given her charge, someone wikians should certainly know!). It's just her bio blurb at this point, but it really deserves review, expansion and link to the recently released "Joint Strategic Plan to Combat Intellectual Property Theft".

~~TimmyMcG (talk) 20:14, 13 July 2010 (UTC)

Ignition, Inc

Hi - I'm looking for feedback on the article I just submitted for Ignition, Inc. I noticed it was flagged, and I'm curious to know what I can do so it doesn't get deleted. Thanks!

~~OrdmanJ (talk) 20:47, 13 July 2010 (UTC)