Talk:Embolus: Difference between revisions
m Signing comment by Afmcraig - "→Peer Review - December 2020: " |
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== Planned Edits - December 2020 == |
== Planned Edits - December 2020 == |
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'''Update''' |
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I've finished my edits on this page as our course completed in late Dec 2020. One thing that might be of interest to future editors is to revisit the history section. In particular, it would be useful to add a few sentences describing the history after Virchow; for example, how different types of emboli other than thromboemboli were first discovered, keeping in mind what is already on the wiki pages for those concepts. Thank you! |
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Hello! I am a 4th-year medical student at UCSF. I will be updating this topic as part of a course on WikiProject Medicine, by which this article is rated Start-class, High-importance. |
Hello! I am a 4th-year medical student at UCSF. I will be updating this topic as part of a course on WikiProject Medicine, by which this article is rated Start-class, High-importance. |
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** {{S | remove contrast to atheromata/thrombi/embolisms as these terms will be more thoroughly dealt with in a new section ("By contrast...may cause embolism(s).[3]").}} |
** {{S | remove contrast to atheromata/thrombi/embolisms as these terms will be more thoroughly dealt with in a new section ("By contrast...may cause embolism(s).[3]").}} |
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** {{S | add sentence(s) indicating that emboli are clinically significant and may contribute to morbidity and mortality; this topic will be dealt with more thoroughly in a new section. Remove mention of arterial occlusion specifically as there are also venous/paradoxical forms of embolism. Furthermore "embolism" is distinct from "embolus," so this is better discussed in the context of clinical significance.}} |
** {{S | add sentence(s) indicating that emboli are clinically significant and may contribute to morbidity and mortality; this topic will be dealt with more thoroughly in a new section. Remove mention of arterial occlusion specifically as there are also venous/paradoxical forms of embolism. Furthermore "embolism" is distinct from "embolus," so this is better discussed in the context of clinical significance.}} |
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** include links to appropriate topics in the sentence briefly describing various forms of emboli ("There are a number of different types of emboli...and foreign bodies"). |
** {{S | include links to appropriate topics in the sentence briefly describing various forms of emboli ("There are a number of different types of emboli...and foreign bodies").}} |
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* {{S | '''Add section: History'''. |
* {{S | '''Add section: History'''. If possible, I will describe in further depth the initial coining of the term cited in the current intro. If information is available, I would like to include references to the first noted observation of different types of emboli,}} and a general overview of how our understanding of embolus composition has changed over time. |
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* {{S | '''Add section: Nomenclature'''. Here I will explicitly define and differentiate between the following terms: thrombus, embolus, embolism, thromboembolism. These words are often confusing to lay readers and used imprecisely.}} |
* {{S | '''Add section: Nomenclature'''. Here I will explicitly define and differentiate between the following terms: thrombus, embolus, embolism, thromboembolism. These words are often confusing to lay readers and used imprecisely.}} |
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* {{S | '''Classification section''': I would like to restructure this section for readability. I plan to remove the bulleted list and convert all listed items into sub-sections, copying over current content on thromboembolism/fat embolism/air embolism/gas embolism/other into the appropriate new sub-sections. I will expand each of these as appropriate with updated literature references, including in the sub-header the rough % of emboli made up by each subtype. Septic embolism, gas embolism, cholesterol embolism, and others will need new sub-sections as nothing is currently written for those even though they are included in the list. Could replace list w/ table}} |
* {{S | '''Classification section''': I would like to restructure this section for readability. I plan to remove the bulleted list and convert all listed items into sub-sections, copying over current content on thromboembolism/fat embolism/air embolism/gas embolism/other into the appropriate new sub-sections. I will expand each of these as appropriate with updated literature references, including in the sub-header the rough % of emboli made up by each subtype. Septic embolism, gas embolism, cholesterol embolism, and others will need new sub-sections as nothing is currently written for those even though they are included in the list. Could replace list w/ table}} |
Revision as of 05:51, 17 December 2020
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This article was the subject of a Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment, between 23 November 2020 and 20 December 2020. Further details are available on the course page. Student editor(s): Afmcraig (article contribs). Peer reviewers: Quokkarobocop.
Relative Frequency of Embolisms
Hello fellow editors. I included today a column in the Classification table describing very roughly the relative occurrence of various types of emboli seen in the clinical setting. The table links these to the embolisms which is the clinically relevant thing here. On the one hand, this cries out for a citation and there isn't one. I was unable to find any studies on the relative incidence of all embolisms weighed against one another; nor is there really any reason why such a study would be performed in the first place. Instead, statistics are readily available on the % incidence of a certain embolism type in a given scenario: e.g., air embolism after TEE. So a source seems needed but hard to come by. On the other hand, it seemed important in this article to emphasize that not all emboli are seen with equal frequency, and because uncited references are already made in the text of this page to some of these embolism syndromes being "rare", I thought it best to add this in. — Preceding unsigned comment added by Afmcraig (talk • contribs) 00:02, 14 December 2020 (UTC)
Peer Review - December 2020
I really like the changes you've made to the article. These include: -replacing list with a table for different types of emboli -adding sections for nomenclature and clinical significance, with clear language in both. -clarifying language in lead section
Considerations for future work: -adding more structure to the clinical significance section -consider trying to shorten sentences and simplify language. I think this is lower priority because this is an article likely to be primarily geared towards pre-health and health trainees. -fleshing out the history section! I would love to see what you've prepared there! -could add dead links to foreign body and tissue embolism to highlight the lack of article for either. Quokkarobocop (talk) 23:57, 13 December 2020 (UTC)
Response to Peer Review Thanks to Quokkarobocop for the thoughtful suggestions and helping to improve this article! Agreed that it is uncertain whether this is more a health trainee or patient-facing article. Hopefully the language we've adopted is sufficiently accessible to both audiences. Added dead links as you suggested, and also fleshed out the history section. Here, chose to opt for brevity since the history and controversy is well covered in other wiki articles, and in keeping with other aspects of the article, tried to keep it as focused on just the idea of embolus as possible. — Preceding unsigned comment added by Afmcraig (talk • contribs) 05:47, 17 December 2020 (UTC)
Planned Edits - December 2020
Update I've finished my edits on this page as our course completed in late Dec 2020. One thing that might be of interest to future editors is to revisit the history section. In particular, it would be useful to add a few sentences describing the history after Virchow; for example, how different types of emboli other than thromboemboli were first discovered, keeping in mind what is already on the wiki pages for those concepts. Thank you!
Hello! I am a 4th-year medical student at UCSF. I will be updating this topic as part of a course on WikiProject Medicine, by which this article is rated Start-class, High-importance.
I am here outlining my planned edits for feedback/discussion from other editors. I would love to hear any of your thoughts and discuss how we can best improve this page together!
Header section: multiple edits:remove contrast to atheromata/thrombi/embolisms as these terms will be more thoroughly dealt with in a new section ("By contrast...may cause embolism(s).[3]").add sentence(s) indicating that emboli are clinically significant and may contribute to morbidity and mortality; this topic will be dealt with more thoroughly in a new section. Remove mention of arterial occlusion specifically as there are also venous/paradoxical forms of embolism. Furthermore "embolism" is distinct from "embolus," so this is better discussed in the context of clinical significance.include links to appropriate topics in the sentence briefly describing various forms of emboli ("There are a number of different types of emboli...and foreign bodies").
Add section: History. If possible, I will describe in further depth the initial coining of the term cited in the current intro. If information is available, I would like to include references to the first noted observation of different types of emboli,and a general overview of how our understanding of embolus composition has changed over time.Add section: Nomenclature. Here I will explicitly define and differentiate between the following terms: thrombus, embolus, embolism, thromboembolism. These words are often confusing to lay readers and used imprecisely.Classification section: I would like to restructure this section for readability. I plan to remove the bulleted list and convert all listed items into sub-sections, copying over current content on thromboembolism/fat embolism/air embolism/gas embolism/other into the appropriate new sub-sections. I will expand each of these as appropriate with updated literature references, including in the sub-header the rough % of emboli made up by each subtype. Septic embolism, gas embolism, cholesterol embolism, and others will need new sub-sections as nothing is currently written for those even though they are included in the list. Could replace list w/ tableAdd section: Clinical significance. This will briefly explain possible sequelae of an embolus circulating in the bloodstream, which in my current understanding is limited to the formation of an embolism, defined above. Will simply make that connection, link to Embolism, and state that embolisms are significant contributors to morbidity/mortality (hopefully citing something from that page).consider changing imageReferences: at least 1 reference is made to a single journal article/abstract. Per WikiMed guidelines, I will attempt to instead refer to a systematic review/meta-analysis, or otherwise remove the reference and accompanying content.
Afmcraig (talk) 23:39, 13 December 2020 (UTC) Afmcraig (talk) 18:22, 30 November 2020 (UTC) — Preceding unsigned comment added by Afmcraig (talk • contribs) 21:37, 29 November 2020 (UTC)