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99 Bottles of Beer

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"99 Bottles of Beer" is a traditional song in the United States. It is popular to sing on long trips, as it has a very repetitive format which is easy to memorize, and can take a long time to sing. In particular the song is frequently sung by pre-teen children on long bus trips, such as class field trips, or on a Scout and/or Girl Guide outings. The song is derived from the English "Ten Green Bottles". Since the word "beer" is not necessary to the rhyme, other beverages — pop, milk, etc — can be and have been substituted, especially by those who wish to avoid mention of alcoholic beverages.

The basic song

The verse format is very formulaic, and can be expressed as follows:

From 99 down to 1:

<number> bottles of beer on the wall
<number> bottles of beer!
Take one down, pass it around
<number - 1> bottles of beer on the wall!

The penultimate line in each verse is sometimes changed to "if one of those bottles should happen to fall" and there is much variation in the final verse. One common final verse (which could potentially cause an infinite-loop motif) is:

No bottles of beer on the wall!
No bottles of beer!
Go to the store and buy some more (or Go to the store and steal some more)
99 bottles of beer on the wall!

Another variation is:

No bottles of beer on the wall!
No bottles of beer!
You barf one up, and bottle it up,
1 bottle of beer on the wall!

In this case, the bottles will incrementally increase back to 99, at which point (conceivably) all the consumed beer has been regurgitated, and the song can resume from its original start point. This version also has the "gross" factor that appeals to many youngsters.

Another end variation includes:

No bottles of beer on the wall!
No bottles of beer!
Get one off the ground and put on the wall
1 bottle of beer on the wall!
1 bottle of beer on the wall!
1 bottle of beer!
Take one down, pass it around
No bottles of beer on the wall!

Eventually, the song reaches "one bottle of beer", although the performance is usually interrupted well before this point is reached. Thus, the song has a definite end, in contrast to infinite loop songs, such as "John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt" and "The Song That Never Ends" (although a recent variation concludes "negative-one bottles of beer on the wall", which is usually interrupted with much yelling before it can be continued).

Performances tend to become an interesting experiment in group dynamics. Enthusiasm for singing another verse tends to flag as the song drags on. Eventually, non-verbal cues that the singers are weary of the game communicate that it is time to stop singing the song.

It takes about 10 seconds to sing each verse, which means the song should take 16.5 minutes to sing all the way.

also, as a variant to this song, to end it quickly:

<number> bottles of beer on the wall
<number> bottles of beer
Kick the wall, watch them all fall
No more bottles of beer on the wall!

or

<number> bottles of beer on the wall
<number> bottles of beer
Kick the wall, watch them all fall
What a waste of alcohol!

Another innocuous variant is 99 truckloads of cheese on the wall.

Yet another variant is the less appropriate;

99 sacks of crack on the wall
99 sacks of crack
If one of those sacks should happen to fall
We'll all be there to <sniffing noise> it all

Other versions incorporate cursing: 99 bottles of beer on the wall
99 bottles of beer
One fell
What the hell?!

OR

99 bottles of beer on the wall
99 bottles of beer
One split
Oh shit!

Similar songs

In a similar vein, there is "Ten in a Bed". From 10 down to 1:

There were <number> in a bed and the little one said,
"Roll over! Roll over!"
So they all rolled over and Leslie fell out;
And banged her head and gave a shout!
"Please remember to tie a knot in your pajamas!"
Single beds are only made for 1,2,3.. <number - 1>
There were <number-1> in a bed, etc.

(until)

There was one in the bed and the little one said:

The final line of the song is either:

"That's fine!"

or (sung as such children's television shows as Barney & Friends):

"Alone at last"!

or (to the tune of the first verse in He's Got The Whole World In His Hands as of in one of Sharon, Lois and Bram's songs):

"I got the whole mattress, to myself"
"I got the whole mattress, to myself"
"I got the whole mattress, to myself"
"I got the whole mattress to myself!"

Other more complex counting down rhymes include nursery rhymes such as "Ten Little Indians". These vary the tale from one verse to another, though.

There is also "Five Little Monkeys" for a similar vein of note. It is a song for pre-school children, but is actually sung whenever it is a parody or joke. It is also recorded in many children's CD albums and TV shows.

The lyrics for the song are listed here. From 5 down to 0:

<number> little monkeys jumping on the bed,
One fell out and bumped his/her head;
Momma called the doctor, the doctor said,
"No more monkeys jumping on the bed!".
<number-1> little monkeys jumping on the bed, etc.

(until)

One little monkey jumping on the bed,
He/she fell out and bumped his head;
Momma called the doctor, the doctor said,
"No more monkeys jumping on the bed!".
No little monkeys jumping on the bed,
None fell out and bumped their heads;
Momma called the doctor, the doctor said,

The final line of the song is:

"Put those monkeys straight to bed."


Still other variants

  • Ten green bottles
  • "Infinite Bottles of Beer on the wall," a nerdish variant. If one of those bottles is taken down, there are still infinite bottles of beer on the wall.
  • "Aleph-Null Bottles of Beer on the wall," same as above. Aleph-Null is specifically the size of the set of all natural numbers, and is the smallest infinity.
  • The "Buttons" song from the absurdist play Ubu Rocks. Instead of counting down, the song counts UP. This is done until the audience reacts negatively.
  • "99 Bottles of Non-alcoholic Carbonated Beverage on the Wall" is both a humorous jibe at the variations which remove beer from the lyrics, and one of the more challenging versions to sing.
  • "Negative Bottles of Beer on the wall," is a means of annoyance. When the song is sung to annoy others, instead of to keep the singers amused, surrounding listeners take great relief once there are 0 bottles of beer on the wall. A brief pause happens, at which point the singers begin to descend into the negatives.
  • "A Hundred Sticks of Dynamite Sitting on the Wall" is a very short parody variant. It lasts for one verse.
  • "99 Kettles of Soup on the Heat", with the same form as 99 Bottles of Beer. The third stanza reads "If one of those kettles I happen to eat".
  • In the Kenan and Kel movie Two Heads are Better than None, Kel sings "9,999 bottles of orange soda on the wall" during a road trip with the Rockmore family. After aggravating everyone with the song, Kel sings all the way until only 7 bottles are left, then decides he's bored and stops.
  • In National Lampoon's Vacation Clark Griswold, while lost in the desert and running to find help starts the song "1000 Bottles of Beer on the Wall" and gets down to single digits before passing out.
  • In the Simpsons episode "Bart Gets Famous", Martin and Principal Seymour sing a variation of "boxes of bottles of beer" while on a trip to a box factory. In the episode "Das Bus", Otto Mann listens to a recording of the song on a tape titled "Songs to Enrage Bus Drivers."
  • In Mighty Morphin Power Rangers it is common to hear Rita Repulsa sing a variation known as "99 Bottles of Slime on the Wall".
  • In Calvin and Hobbes, Calvin threatens his dad while on a road trip into taking him into a burger joint by bursting out into song "10 MILLION BOTTLES OF BEER ON THE WALL, 10 MILLION BOTTLES OF BEER!!!..."
  • In the Bus Trip episode of Beavis and Butthead (Season 5, 1994-1995), during a bus ride on a class trip, one student suggests singing "99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall", to which the teacher Mr. David Van Driessen replies that it isn't socially responsible to encourage young people to drink beer, so he suggests "99 Bottles of Tea on the Wall".
  • In the Seinfeld episode The Bottle Deposit, Part 2, Kramer and Newman break into their own rendition:

    Nine thousand, nine hundred and ninety-nine bottle and cans in the trunk, nine thousand, nine hundred and ninety-nine bottles and cans. At ten cents a bottle and ten cents a can, we're pulling in five hundred dollars a man. Nine thousand, nine hundred and ninety-eight bottle and cans in the trunk, nine thousand, nine hundred and ninety-eight bottles and cans. We fill up with gas, we count up our cash!!...
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