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Dating coach

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Dating coaches are coaches whose job is to direct and train people to improve their success in dating and relationships.

Dating involves a complex set of social rules and conventions. A dating coach directs and trains their clients on various aspects of meeting and attracting long-term partners and meeting more compatible prospects. The focus of most programs is on confident and congruent communication.

Dating coaches may focus on topics important to the art of dating: interpersonal skills, flirting, psychology, sociology, compatibility, fashion, and recreational activities

Dating coaches typically charge rates similar to that of other professional counselors (e.g. $75-125/hour).[1] Seminars involving multiple audience members typically charge less than one-on-one meetings, however.

Technique

Dating coaches may coach through electronic books, one-on-one coaching, small group seminars, and weekend workshops. One-on-one coaching can involve counseling and in-the-field coaching[2], which can involve practicing flirtingCite error: A <ref> tag is missing the closing </ref> (see the help page). They teach how to conduct better conversations, how to dress, how to hug appropriately, and anything else that may help achieve success in dating.[3] Common elements of dating coaches' tips include the need to decide what you are looking for and remain positive.[1]

According to Joanie Edelberg, an advantage of seeking advice from a dating coach rather than from a friend is that the coach may be willing to be more honest.[2] Indeed, one of the main points of a dating coach is to candidly point out less-than-helpful behavior.[1] Dating coaches may simply encourage a person to work on staying happy and thankful for the many positive things that fill their life. This happy attitude will radiate outwards - attracting others.[4]

Some dating coaches specialize in helping with online dating.[5] This could include helping people rewrite their online profiles to obtain better results,[6] start initial email conversations, get professional photo shoots, and so on.

Dating seminars

Different dating seminars can take vastly different approaches to the subject. David DeAngelo, for instance, covers the basis for the actions and reactions of women and how to make that knowledge usable and applicable on a consistent basis; how the human brain functions when encountering situations with possible sexual outcomes based on evolutionary conditions; and how to best position oneself as the kind of man who is attractive to women on a deeply programmed level.[7] Christian dating seminars, on the other hand, may stress differences between love and lust and knowing one's own self-worth.[8] Muslim dating seminars may also deal with how to find a mate without compromising religious principles.[9] The "Underground Dating" seminars concentrate on planning a date and seeming fun rather than needy or boring by trying too hard to impress the girl. Interestingly, different dating coaches have different takes on one another's techniques; Brad P. writes, "Do that Hitch stuff and you're gonna look like a total kiss-ass."[10]

Stigma

There has been a stigma attached to those who seek help from dating coaches. Some counterarguments to this stigma are that most people have dating coaches in the form of older siblings, charismatic friends, or honest lovers; and that it is socially acceptable to seek coaches in other, potentially less important aspects of life such as guitar playing.[11] A response to this is that dating is easier than activities like guitar playing, and coaches should be unnecessary. A counterargument to that response is that there are many people who have been out of the dating world for so long that the techniques that used to work for them (such as going out to bars) no longer work; and some people have barriers that they need to deal with before they can be successful.[12] Another argument against using a dating coach is that it is taking the easy way out, rather than trying and failing on one's own, which can bring its own benefits, such as teaching self-reliance.[13]

Some factors contributing to the rise of dating coaching is that people are become busier; women have begun acting more masculine and men more submissive, which ruins the attraction; fast-changing rules of the dating game that leave the less socially-skilled behind; and the release of books like The Game and movies like Hitch which have made dating coaching seem more normal.[14]

Neil Strauss's The Game says:[15]

It is no easy feat to sign up for a workshop dedicated to picking up women. To do so is to acknowledge defeat, inferiority, and inadequacy. It is to finally admit to yourself that after all these years of being sexually active (or at least sexually cognizant), you have not grown up and figured it out. Those who ask for help are often those who have failed to do something for themselves. So if drug addicts go to rehab and the violent go to anger management class, then social retards go to pickup school...A man has two primary drives in early adulthood: one toward power, success, and accomplishment; the other toward love, companionship, and sex. Half of life was then out of order. To go before them was to stand up as a man and admit that I was only half a man.

See also

References

  1. ^ a b c The Dating Coach Is In ($125/Hour) - New York Times
  2. ^ a b Frustrated singles turn to dating coaches - U.S. business - MSNBC.com
  3. ^ New Bravo series examines making matches for rich men | Freep.com | Detroit Free Press
  4. ^ Dating Wisdom
  5. ^ In the Computer Dating Game, Room for a Coach - New York Times
  6. ^ American Chronicle | If You Are Short, Fat, Older or An Asian Man, You Must Read This. But Especially If You’re Short
  7. ^ "Double Your Dating". FastSeduction101.
  8. ^ Brown, Akeyla (2006-01-30). "Christian Dating Seminar".
  9. ^ "It's Muslim Boy Meets Girl, but Don't Call It Dating". New York Times. 2006-09-19.
  10. ^ "The Underground Dating Seminar".
  11. ^ EzraKlein Archive | The American Prospect
  12. ^ Westport Minuteman - Dating coaches spur serious relationships
  13. ^ Home | Propeller
  14. ^ Should You Get a Dating Coach? @ Keyword Articles
  15. ^ Strauss, Neil. The Game. p. 16.
  2. The Florida Dating Coaches
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