History Bites
History Bites was a television series on the History Television network that ran from 1998-2003. Created by Rick Green (The Frantics, Prisoners of Gravity, Red Green), History Bites explored what would be on television if the medium had been around for the last 5,000 years of human history. Typically, a significant historical event was chosen and mock news, sports and entertainment programming was created around it. Each episode included several segments of Green offering historical background of the episode's chosen era and otherwise showed frequent shifts from one comedy sketch to another (as well as returning to certain sketches repeatedly) representing a channel-surfing viewer who never watched any one sketch for more than a few minutes at a time.
Contemporary movies, television shows and personalities (Martha Stewart, Don Cherry, Tom Brokaw, Dennis Miller, Larry King and Andy Rooney, among others) were comically adapted to the chosen era. For example, the legendary revenge story of the "47 Ronin" of early 1700s Japan was told in the style of a made-for-TV movie modeled on the real-life film The Godfather. Television sitcoms such as Seinfeld and All in the Family were also frequently parodied, with the characters commenting on time-appropriate events, be it Joan of Arc's virginity or the benefits of joining The Immortals (the elite warriors of ancient Persia). Game and reality shows were parodied as well, including a depiction of the Donner Party as contestants in an 1846 version of Survivor, and almost every episode featured a Jeopardy!-like segment in which contestants answered trivia questions about the common beliefs of the featured era. Anachronisms were frequent and deliberate, adding to the show's distinctive humor. For example, in one episode set in AD 100 and focusing on gladiatorial combat, the "Zamboni family" was responsible for tidying the Colosseum between bouts, in reference to modern Zamboni machines that clean rink surfaces during intermissions at ice hockey games. Charactors sometimes say things things that are antisemitic or racist, reflecting common beliefs at the time, but in a context that shows how ridiculous the beliefs where.
The earliest (by far) setting for an episode is 6000 BCE, in which viewers were advised on pre-monotheism ritual as well as the new technologies of agriculture and animal husbandry. It also included a parody of a medical reality show in which the treatment for every ailment was a trepanning. The most recent setting for an episode was AD 1880, in an episode largely about the "The Shootout At Fly's Photographic Studio", a historically more accurate description of the event commonly known as the Gunfight at the O.K. Corral.
The show's production values improved over its five seasons, increasing and refining the use of sets, costumes and props. Never lost was Green's message (stated explicitly in the first episode and alluded to in the closing of each episode) that fond nostalgia for the past is misplaced and that the lives of our ancestors were rife with oppression, ignorance, disease and suffering. Ultimately, the title History Bites has a double meaning, referring to the "soundbites"-like nature of the short clips from each sketch, as well as the often brutal and unpleasant nature of the history being portrayed.
On Canada Day, July 1, 2005, a 1 hour History Bites special was shown on History Television titled "Mother Britian" covering the history of the relationship between Canada and Britain from the first explorers to the patriation of the Constitution. It featured a scence with actors portraying all 21 Canadian |Prime Ministers. History Bites "Uncle Sam" is another 1 hour special.
History Bites is currently shown on the The Comedy Network.
Regulars on the show include:
- Ron Pardo: David Letterman, Ed Sullivan, Howard Stern, Dennis Miller, Don Cherry, Tom Brokaw, Ted Koppel, Ivan the Terrible, Larry King, Regis Philbin, Julius Caesar, Justinian I, William Shakespeare, Henry Hudson, Bill Maher, Dating Game contestant, interviewed merchant.
- Rick Green: Ron MacLean, Hugh Downs, Timmy the Jeopardy! contestant, Dating Game contestant, interviewed monk.
- Bob Bainborough: period newscaster, game show host, infomercial lawyer, Andy Rooney, Tamerlane, Galileo Galilei, Nostradamus, John Calvin, Oliver Cromwell, Pythagoras, Neolithic doctor, Shakespearean actor, Samurai, Vlad the Impaler, Alexander the Great's general.
- Janet van de Graaf: Martha Stewart, Bev Downer, Barbara Walters, Greta Van Susteren, Anne Robinson, Empress Theodora, period on-location newcaster, interviewed noblewoman.
- Teresa Pavlinek: period newscaster, Cleopatra, Neolithic nurse, interviewed Valley girl peasant, interviewed Puritan woman, Hatshepsut.
- Peter Oldring: Children's show host, Cheng Ho, Alexander the Great, Bill Maher, Dating Game contestant, dating infomercial host, interviewed rebellious teenager.
- Danny DiTata (writer): Steve Irwin, Wyatt Earp, Jesus, leper.
- Eric Lunsky (writer): Charles the Simple, Native American, Egyptian architect, interviewed merchant, interviewed peasant.
- Amy McKenzie (writer): Judge Judy, Shakespearean actor (not actress), interviewed peasant.
- Duncan McKenzie (writer): Abraham Lincoln, William Farel, Leonard the Jeopardy! contestant.
- Sam Kalilieh: Throk (Neolithic farmer), Sostratos of Sycion (Olympic Pankration champion), Thutmoses III, Sargon of Akkad, Tom Green, Pistachio the gladiator, interviewed common man.