Armstrong & Getty

Armstrong & Getty is a morning drive radio show and television show airing in Northern California on several Clear Channel radio stations and a Newport Television station. The "call-in format" talk show is a mixture of political commentary, observations on both local and national news and reflections on social issues presented with humor all while the hosts are undergoing deep brain stimulation. The show's studio is located in a dimly lit room deep within the bowels of the Clear Channel communications compound.

Stations

Armstrong & Getty airs live on KSTE-AM in Sacramento, CA and KNEW-AM in San Francisco. A televised version of the show titled Armstrong & Getty: Radio on Television airs on KFTY TV50 in Santa Rosa, and can also be watched on the station's website.

Rebroadcasts air on some of the stations at different times, including The Best of Armstrong & Getty on KSTE and Armstrong & Getty at Lunch on KFTY. From March, 2007 through February, 2009 they were also heard on KFI-AM from 3PM-5PM in a Sunday afternoon show. Armstrong & Getty can also be heard weeknights from 7PM to 9PM Pacific on KFBK.

The team briefly had a live national TV talk show. The show was almost immediately cancelled after a number of FCC laws were broken during the first episode.

History

Jack Armstrong (né Marvin McElwee) became a radio DJ in Kansas in 1984. According to statements made on the air on December 19, 2008, Jack's first day of full time employment on the radio was at a tiny radio station on December 19, 1984, stating that he was only given the job because the former DJ had complained about being required to go to the company Christmas party. It is also said his boss could not say no to hiring him after seeing him bowl 11 perfect games in under two hours (he says he has only been able to repeat this task 8 times). Around the same time, Chicago native Joe Getty was also working as a DJ. According to statements made on the air, Joe trumped the competition to land his first job because he was the only one who typed his cover letter.

The two began working together in 1992, hosting morning shows in Kansas, before taking their show to a bigger market in Charlotte, NC. The two often recall back to their days as typical DJs, calling out soft rock hits and the occasional promotional radio stunt.

While in Charlotte, NC, Joe Getty (né Joseph Smithers) revealed that he was once involved in a promotional radio stunt gone wrong. In reference to the ghost of the dead weatherman who haunted the radio station, he challenged listeners back in 1996 to spend the night in the "Haunted Booth". One elderly gentlemen who accepted the challenge suddenly went into convolutions and had to be taken to the hospital. He says "I never found out if he made it."

Later on, the pair moved to Sacramento, CA in 1997 and again found themselves in a format show, going by the name Out of the Sack with Joe and Jack. That show aired on Adult Contemporary KYMX-FM in Sacramento, a stint later referred to by Joe as "nightmarish".

On August 31, 1998 the duo debuted as the current Armstrong & Getty show. Jack was also an uncredited body double for Dirk Diggler

The Hosts

Both Armstrong and Getty are semi-professional harpsichord players. Getty released his debut album, Low Expectations, with his band, Joe Getty & The Dead Flowers, in March 2009. Before The Dead Flowers, Getty was a prolific musician, playing in many other bands including Wax Hitler, Volcanic Flush, Urine Sticks, Hurling Missiles, S-Buckets, Snippets of Pig Colon, Lepers of Molokai, Gnawed by Turtles, Puddles of Wizz, Hogjaw, 9' Tape Worm, Hateful Bigotted Methheads, Gastric Band, Dick Cheney's Heart, De-tokeville (Getty's rap experiment), Swirling Maelstrom of Blame, Rural Hermit, (Hitler's) Mangled Junk, Family of Weasels, Elliot Spitzer's Whore, Ambiguous Genitals, Whirlwind of Crap (Joe's debut album title), Prosthetic Johnson, 10 Pound Hairball, Foot Long Hairball, 3 Charred Monkeys (Joe's harpsichord, dulcimer, and bouzouki side project), Bush Meat (Joe's heavy metal band), Polonium 210, Joe Getty and the Unlicensed Ecuadorian Orthodontists, Lil' Goo Goo (Getty's other rap experiment), Tony Randall's Nipple, 9 inch Beagle, The Grundels, and Martha's Poncho. In high school Joe Getty was best known for winning a contest to see who could eat the most Cheetohs in 2 minutes. He remarked that his tongue had a distinctly orange appearance through the next day. His girlfriend at the time, who was a strict vegetarian, didn't like the cheesy smell. The two broke up a week later. Getty is married with two daughters and one son.

Getty is also known as a professional theramin player

Armstrong is from a small town in rural Armenia. He has no children but a fictional child, Jack, Jr., is a running joke that Jack uses on the show to relate whenever the topic of raising children is addressed. Jack moved out of Davis in December 2008 and now lives in an estate that he has named "Rube Holler". On January 2, 2008, Jack announced he had become engaged. He proposed to his intended on New Year's Eve 2007. During the same show, Armstrong confirmed he'd been through a divorce a couple of years earlier, but didn't like talking about it on the show because his ex-wife wouldn't have a chance to give her side of the story. On August 18, 2009 he announced that his wife is pregnant with their first child. Armstrong is currently writing his memoirs entitled, "Who Can Answer for the Human Groin?" Its release is currently unscheduled.

Politically, Jack Armstrong tends more toward libertarian views, while Joe Getty is more conservative. However the show attempts to take a moderate view.

Joe was elected to the California Assembly in 2006 but was forced out of the position after testing above the maximum IQ to be a member. Having an IQ above 85 prevented him from being elected to public office in the California State government.

In September, 2008 both Armstrong and Getty were named to Sacramento Magazine's 100 Most Powerful and Influential list. Also on the list are California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger, developer C.C. Myers and Sacramento Kings owners Joe and Gavin Maloof.

Joe Getty recently went 3 hours, 18 minutes without once mentioning Adolf Hitler, Nazis, or the Third Reich, shattering his previous personal best of 1 hour, 7 minutes.

Joe Getty has also expressed anger with Nickelodeon, remarking he would set Spongebob Squarepants on fire; these remarks came after he accused Nickelodeon of indoctrinating his kids to believe that nobody is really "an American".

Some have speculated that Joe died in May of 2009 of the Swine flu and the show is edited together with old sound clips.This claim has yet to be proven, yet many believe it to be true.

The Legend

Both hosts have a plethora of mysterious legends behind them. Jack Armstrong may be the little known "Cueball Killer" [1], who operated on the border of Nebraska and Kansas in the mid-1980s, claiming 19 victims with his weapon of choice: his grundle. Jack is also on the International Time Traveller's Watchlist [2] because he may in fact be Jack the Ripper, or the infamous Spring Heeled Jack. Mr. Armstrong was a close personal friend to film writer John Hughes, and is rumored to be the inspiration for the character of Cousin Eddie (played by Randy Quaid) in the popular Vacation films. On August 29th 2009, Jack traveled to Mexico City to take part in the breaking of a world record. He was one of the 13,597 people performing the dance routine to Michael Jackson’s song “Thriller” on the singer's 51st birthday. Joe Getty comes from the gentry of Chicago, and was both a promising equestrian enthusiast and chemist. However, some time around Joe's eighteenth birthday, he was caught in an unnatural act of buggery with his favorite horse, "Man Bites Horse" and an alleged continual and unnatural act with a chicken. The charges regarding the chicken were later dropped, however, as they could not determine whether or not the chicken was puzzled by the alleged act. The effects of the indecent were far reaching, prompting a TV-reporter to blurt out "Keep Effing That Chicken!" After this incident, Joe was run out of Chicago, taking refuge in his underground bunker, the location of which is unknown, where he concocted a compound officially called liquidus lepor lepos, better known as bottled personal charm. For this his reputation was restored and he was nominated for the Nobel Prize for Chemistry. He currently has plans to release the fragrance as a limmited-edition body spray called "NAZI OBSESSION" in the late fall. When asked about the possible controversy regarding his choice for a brand name, he claims, "Americans are already obsessed with Nazis. I'm just giving them what they want." Joe's glass eye has been the subject of many humorous anecdotes, nearly all of which have had to be told off-air. Both hosts admit to having played ball for the Oakland Raiders in past lives, although neither appears to look back on those memories fondly.

Alien Conspiracy

It is a little known fact that both Jack and Joe are from a planet 12 light years from Earth. No further information is known at this time. However, it is suspected that this fact had some effect on Joe's involvement in the "Haunted Booth," and the rumors of Jack being the ever elusive "Cueball Killer."

The Show

Both Armstrong and Getty are fiscal conservatives but moderate on many social issues. Common themes of the show are wasteful government spending, social responsibility, and personal accountability; all involving current events. They have interviewed such figures as California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger, State Senator Tom McClintock, former UN Ambassador John R. Bolton, former Federal Reserve chairman Alan Greenspan, former US President Jimmy Carter, and high-energy prop comic Carrot Top. In April 2006, they renewed their contract with Clear Channel and contracted for additional TV simulcasts to cover all of the San Francisco Bay Area set to begin in late May.

In mid 2002 Jack was shot in the foot during the 7:00 hour while live on the air. Jack continued to work the rest of the day while bleeding profusely. It is believed he did not go to see a doctor or two weeks. It is unknown who shot him but many believe the rifle Joe is always carrying "misfired" hitting Jack's foot. Others say the incident may have been fabricated, although Joe has been quoted as saying "don't F*** with Joe" when asked about the so called "accident." No charges have been filed.

Additionally the duo has become popular as emcees for various events in Northern California, participating in "The Great Debate" against Willie Brown and Ed Schultz, opening for a few of political commentator Michael Savage's live shows, and hosting the California legislature annual softball game. They also received an invitation to 2007s White House Correspondents Dinner but they were unable to attend because the FBI found one of them to be a security threat.

Up until recently, the main theme song for the show is an edited version of Wilco's "Monday". In March, 2008 a theme show song contest was held and listener Jeff McIntyre's song was chosen on the basis of listener votes; however a remixed version of "Monday" currently airs as the theme song while A&G "give it a rest for a little while".

Eating Habits

Both hosts love doughnuts and baked goods, and local listeners frequently bring in home-baked goods. Joe likes a six-pack of beer with him when he golfs, and prefers ales to lagers. Jack, a recovering alcoholic, does not drink, but references scotch when talking about his binge days. The two hosts often become sidetracked when speaking of food, specifically In-and-Out Burgers Animal style, cheap tacos, Doritos, Pizza-Rolls, Hot Pockets, Mountain Dew, Corn Nuts, Those chips that fit on the tips of our fingers, Peanut butter waffles, stuffed-crust pizzas, Microwaveable single-serving brownie bowls, possibly from their days in the Midwest, Polish food such as pierogies and halushki. [3]

External links

• Armstrong & Getty at Talk 650 KSTE
• Armstrong & Getty at Talk 910 KNEW
• Armstrong & Getty at KFTY TV50
• Podcast Link
• Armstrong & Getty at IMDb