Don't Buy This

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search
Don't Buy This
Don't Buy This
Cover art of Don't Buy This
Developer(s) Various
Publisher(s) Firebird
Platform(s) ZX Spectrum
Release 1985
Genre(s) Video game compilations
Mode(s) Single player

Don't Buy This (also known as Don't Buy This: Five of the Worst Games Ever) is a ZX Spectrum video game compilation released in 1985. As described on the box, it contains five of the poorest games submitted to Firebird.

Instead of rejecting the submissions, they decided to mock the original developers by releasing them together and publicly brand it as "unoriginal" and "awful". Firebird even disowned all their copyright to the game and encouraged buyers to pirate it at will.[1]


  • Fido 1: A game where the player controls a dog named Fido to defeat moles and birds[1] to protect an area for several levels.
  • Fido 2: Puppy Power: Features similar gameplay as the original Fido, but Fido can now move up and down instead of just left and right. In addition to Fido being able to defeat enemies with its tail, used as an attack in the previous game, Fido can now shoot laser beams from its eyes in order to destroy other enemies and gain health.
  • Fruit Machine: The player controls an animated, low-resolution slot machine with reels that spin rather slowly. The instructions sarcastically describe the game as a "mysterious, original new game [that] requires skill, timing, nerve and absolute concentration".[1] The music is an 8-bit medley of short tunes that play when the player wins.
  • Race Ace: A racing game where the player controls a light blue race car that can only turn 90 and 180-degree angles. The game is impossible to win, regardless of the speed setting of the player's car because the computer-controlled cars advance more quickly every time the player turns. On one screen, the game is erroneously titled "Ace Racer".
  • Weasel Willy: A game where a "weasel" has to avoid trees that are completely green[2] and its own large, uniform footprints. The trees spawn in random locations whenever a level starts, so the "weasel" may be blocked by trees, preventing the player from being able to play the level. The "weasel" may even start a level with a tree occupying the same space as it does, causing immediate loss of the level.


Your Spectrum wrote: "The games aren't that bad as do-it-yourself games but, they won't provide that much fun."[3] Sinclair User said it contained "five of the most uninspired games ever to disgrace the Spectrum."[4]

In a 2011 retrospective on the compilation, television presenter and gaming journalist Larry Bundy Jr admitted he had to showcase the game as a retrospective rather than a review because: "you can’t exactly review or give the ol’ “angry reviewer” treatment to a game that openly admits that it’s supposed to be rubbish can you?" He ridiculed a wide variety of aspects of each game, from their low resolution graphics to their difficult or even impossible gameplay.[5]

See also[edit]


External links[edit]