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{{Wikipediapar|Guitar Hero (series)|Guitar Hero}}
{{Wikipediapar|Guitar Hero (series)|Guitar Hero}}


Revision as of 11:53, 23 January 2008

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(QTO ERR IS HUMAN, TO ERR IN GUITAR HERO IS ANNOYING.) (QFRET...WHAT THE HELL IS A FRET?) (QGET A GIRLFRIEND, GET A JOB, AND GET SOME FRIENDS.) (QYOU KNOW HOW YOU SOMETIMES SEE SOMETHING AND YOU KNOW IT'S WHAT YOU'RE DESTINED FOR?) (QTHIS GAME IS GAY.)

Guitar Hero 1, 2, 3. The Cover is of Guitar Hero 3
File:Guitar-hero-3-cheats.jpg
This is how gay you could look on a game cover
Developer(s)Satan/Hitler, With the help of Mickey mouse
Platform(s)Xbox 360, PC, PlayStation 3
ReleaseOctober or November 2007.
Genre(s)I don't know.
File:72c27759a4406af49c4899d1ea25818d.gif
Hitler Practicing for Guitar hero, NAZI BANJO!!

Guitar Hero is one of the many game ideas stolen off Shigeru Miyamoto by his great and longtime nemesis Gannon who works for Michael Soft who in turn works for Bill Gates who in turn doesn't work for anyone because he's so rich. It combines elements of Dance Dance Revolution and being a coked up rock star. Despite this it is mostly played by people who are good at DDR and not coked up rock stars. The main characters in the game are Samantha Aaron, Matthew Cheek and Slash from Guns N' Roses. It's rumored that there are hidden characters named Judy Nails, Axel Steel, Plecostomus, Johnny Napalm (among a few others) are available in the game, but this isn't true. You pretend to play guitar; how many characters do you need. The game is published by Activision because Bill Gates doesn't actually have the ability to program anymore, only the power to make money.

Game Play

Gameplay starts off really basic; one holds a guitar shaped controller and chooses a song they wish to play. It is at this point that the gameplay gets much more intense and difficult. The player is onslaught by a multitude of semi-spheres (players call them "notes"), which they are expected to know how to play. If they had read the game manual, like they were supposed to, they would know that it requires pressing the corresponding colored button at the same time as pressing down on the strum bar. Many have still not grasped this concept and probably never will.

In the initial Beta of the game, players found it quite difficult to play as there was no way to distinguish which of the five colored buttons provided on the controller to press. The Beta featured no colors for the "notes" and the limited human brain couldn't comprehend this.

During the game the player will see star-shaped "notes" and if they hit all of the star "notes" then the player gets star power. Realistically this was just added to the game to cause the player even more hardship trying to hit all the notes they can. What the developers claim, however, is that this is so the player can gain more points. This argument is supported by the fact that, when the player activates Star power (this is done by smashing the guitar on the ground and lighting it on fire) the player's points are doubled. The few players who are good at this game complain that Star power is for losers who want a high score but can't play the game well. Players that use Star power complain that the few players that are good at the game can play the game well so they don't care about a high score.

Guitar hero also seems naturally harder for guitarists 0.o

Game Play Levels

There are several levels available to play in Guitar Hero. They are as follows:

Easy

Easy has you playing 3 notes that are separated by 4 beats minimum. It is intended for those who are not very skilled at the game, or are starting out. Despite the simplicity of the gameplay of Easy, every person who starts out the game still finds a way to mess up. Don't believe it? Try Guitar Hero and you'll be like, "wow, I suck..."

Medium

This adds a fourth note that must be played while playing this game. It sounds simple, but the notes are now with in at least 2 beats of each other. The use of the pinky in Medium also increases the challenge. Medium is meant to frustrate players who thought they were good on Easy only to find out they don't know how to move their pinky, and that their ring finger is even harder to use, since it doesn't cooperate when you try to do the red and blue buttoned chords without moving your entire hand.

Hard

In Hard the game gets hard, adding a fifth note. This requires the player to actually move their hand to hit the proper notes. It often leaves player confused as to what's even being played as they try to figure out whether their index finger is on the green or the red, only to find out it was on the yellow. Hard is meant to frustrate players who thought they were good on Medium only to find out they can't play if they have to move their hands.

Expert

Expert is really hard, and to get to this level you have to have a lot of free time. It's hard where 5 buttons must be pressed, but this time it usually makes you press more then one at a time. The notes tend to be no less then half a beat apart and no more then one beat apart, even when there is obviously no guitar playing, Expert has you mashing buttons. This is meant to be video-taped and put on YouTube so people can call you a loser or envy you at your owning skillz on "Through the Fire and Flames."

Those individuals who beat the game at the Expert level have little to no lives. Had they spent half as much time learning to play an actual guitar, they would be in a band, and therefore worshipped by Japanese schoolgirls and worthy of the monicker "douchebag". Really getting absorbed in the Expert level may distract you long enough to notice you've just been eaten by the Grue under your desk.

Super-Expert

What, you've never heard of Super-Expert, you say? That's because the only way to unlock it is by entering a secret code, which was only given to Koreans. The Koreans are loyal, and they will not tell you the secret code, even after long hours of torture. Anyways, though, super expert mode means you are constantly wailing on the guitar, all the time. When you look at the screen, all you can see are solid notes, for every fret. Most people fail within within 4.23 seconds, because it is proven to be impossible with only 4 fingers. Some people, however, have forced themselves to grow an extra finger out of their love of Guitar Hero. Hellashes, BobDole719, PreistMLH and wuLFe79 are good examples of this.

Chuck Norris Hard

This can only be unlocked if you beat all songs on Super-Expert with 5 stars on each one while eating a hotdog, writing a piano symphony, playing your friend at Guitar Hero 2 blindfolded, playing Chuck Norris on Super-Expert with your feet also blindfolded, and also while describing colors to a blind, deaf, and insane man, and jerking off two homeless men...with your feet. Once you unlock this mode (if you unlock it) you will begin to play the first song which i will give you a faint example of. There are ten guitar fret buttons which you can press on the Chuck norris hard mode.


0 000 000 0 0 0000000000 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 00 00 0 0 0 0 0 00 0 0 0 0 0 00 0 00 0 0 00 

 00  0 00   00 0   0 00 00 00   0--   00000  0--    0   000000000000000--0-0-0-0-0-0-

00 0 00000 00 00 0 0 0 00000--------------------0------0------000000-000--------0 

  0 000   000     00  0    0000000000000------0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-

0 00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 000 00 0 0000 0 0-- 0 0 0000000000-------0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-00-0-0-0-0-00-0-0-000 

     000  0  000  0     00000000000     0000 0000000 0 0 0 0000000000000000000000000000000

00000000000 0 0 0000 0---------------------------------0------0-0--------0--0---0--0--0-0-0-0 0 0 00 0 0 0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 0*infinite 000 000000 0 0 0 00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000----00-0-00-0-0-0


The song start off with no beat and it is a solo so dont expect to find a beat. This is just a screenshot of the beginning of the song.It lasts for all time and when you complete it all the game says is "Chili Cheese Dog!"The fretboard moves so fast that you can only see blurs of notes if you want an example of this think of guitar hero 3's hyper speed number 5 * a random stream of flashing seizure-inducing lights that make anyone epileptic.. Of couse this requires you to play two long notes at once while rapidly pressing buttons on other notes so as Jesus and Chuck Norris have told me I also tell you...GET A JOB!!

Optional Gameplay

Some players choose to play like they are actually playing guitar in front of a big concert audience. Oscar Wilde shames these people (this is done by smashing the guitar on the ground and lighting it on fire). These players usually are good enough to play with their eyes closed and not miss a note and so probably have no life. They might though, but they still don't get the groupies. These players can be seen on YouTube pretending to be cool being able to play on expert and hitting many of the notes. To try to make the experience even more realistic, players sniff lines of coke and then go into rehab. Activision recommends that players refrain from doing this, but they usually get addicted to coke before they see the warning label.

Plot

File:Bush plays noorleans.jpg
George Bush practicing for the upcoming 100th Annual New Orleans Guitar Hero Tournament during the hurricane

There is an important plot to Guitar Hero due to is socio-political commentary. The game starts off with you choosing to play as either Chris Pollock or Loren Lilly (Slash is unlocked at a later time) who are both voiced by Optimus Prime. It shows a scene of your character standing infront of a small audience in a bar. It then throws you into a song (usually Stairway to Heaven but sometimes it makes you play Freebird) which if you pass successfully then your character smashes the guitar on the ground and lights it on fire. It is then revealed that the guitar was originally Keith Richard's guitar and so was full of Marijuana and Heroin. This puts your character in great debt and you need to play your way into enough money to get out of debt.

Once you pay off the debt your band is really popular and so you choose to continue playing. You start to play bigger and bigger venues and start to get more and more groupies. Once you play at an actual concert Slash comes out and you play a Duet. If you succeed in beating this stage (you play five Guns 'n' Roses songs) then you go and get high with Slash who has now joined your Band. Living the high life you go to coke parties and the like. In the stories climax your character gets arrested for drugs abuse. This game was renoun for leaving the story open for a sequel which hadn't been done before in video games, except maybe Super Mario 128 but that game is not believed to be cannon so its like like matters.

Original Plot

Shigeru Miyamoto's original idea for the game was that a green garbed young lad would start off in a field. He would then enter a cave and an old man would tell him "It's dangerous to go alone, take this" and would receive a wooden guitar. Miyamoto then had the idea that this boy would go around trying to save a princess named Zelda from Miyamoto's own long time nemesis Gannon (who as a child smashed Miyamoto's guitar on the ground and lit it on fire). Miyamoto was then reminded by Reggie Fils-Aime, his long time friend in his battle against Gannon, reminded Miyamoto that he had made that game already and named it the Legend of Zelda. The only difference between that game and this was that the main characters name was Lank and not Link.

Second Plot

Miyamoto was considering a second plot for the game. The story would involve an evil scientist who had taken over the star system of Lylat. The player would play as a Fox and his team of a Falcon, a Hare and a Frog. The goal would be to play from planet to planet, assisting the star system's military to rid the system of the evil scientist's minions. As Miyamoto was about to produce the game his buddy Reggie, once again, reminded him that he had already made that game.

After this the current idea of Guitar Hero was then made by Miyamoto before it was stolen.

Controversy Over Rights

As said previously, Miyamoto's idea was stolen by Gannon and given to Microsoft and then given to Bill Gates who then sold the rights to Activision. Miyamoto sued Activision for a percent of the profits but the law suit was shot down by the US Supreme Court stating that there wasn't enough evidence to support Miyamoto's claim. Despite this we here at Nintendo of America many people tend to believe Miyamoto's claim. We here at Nintendo of America These people tend to support their claims by smashing guitars on the ground and lighting them on fire.

Impacts on Culture

  • Peter Piper Picked a Peck of Pickled Peppers because he just loved Guitar Hero so much.
  • This game has inspired many people to become coked-out heroin addicts who think they can play the guitar.
  • Due to the fact that the groupies in the games are girls whether you play as Matthew or Samantha the game has become a great example of Lesbianism in games.
    • Lesbians Rock
      • Gay guys are cool too but lesbians rock more.
    • Lesbians use this game as an example of the world they'd like to live in. Groupies by the dozen.
  • Inspired Jimi Hendrix to start playing the guitar before he went back in time and became famous.
  • Inspired Seth Green to start writing Robot Chicken the movie, scheduled for release in 2020.
  • The once popular "Guitar" (no one knows what one is) was almost knocked off its high perch by the Guitar Hero controllers.
  • Remember the Koreans? well, yeah...
  • cough drops
  • Inspired the dumbasses that made south park
  • Made Courtney Love shoot Kurt Cobain in the face with a shotgun

Songs

Guitar hero has a variety of really good songs, going from level nub(easy) to No life (Expert).Some of the songs are famous around the world but some we don't even know were the Fuck they came from. Here are some of the songs Guitar Hero offers:

1.Opening Flicks

  • I Love Rock & Jizz
  • I Gotta Be Sedated
  • Thunder Cum '69
  • Coke on the Water
  • Infected with AIDS

2.H4X-Grinders

  • Steel Woman
  • More Than A Feeling That I am Going to Jizz in Your Face
  • You've Got Another Jizz Comin'
  • Suck Me Off
  • Tight Dressed Gay

3.Press and Turn

  • Killer Jizz
  • Hey What the Fuck
  • Stella!
  • Heart Full of Crack
  • Concert of Rebuilding

4.Return of the Shit

  • Shitty Stardust
  • Skinny Hair
  • Cock Ice
  • Take The Panties Off
  • Not Sung

5.Brat Burners

  • High Castle Magic
  • High Ground
  • No One Knows That I Can't Jizz
  • Mace of Spades
  • Railroads

6.Face-Tighters

  • Godzilla Jizz
  • Maryland avalanche
  • Dracula
  • Indians From Heaven
  • Meow at the Sun
  • Through the Ice and Frost

Ultimate Duel

During Guitar Heros release Hitler and Jesus were coincidently paired up in rank match on pro faceoff expert, the songs picked by hitler were one, Cherub Rock and pride and joy. jesus picked cliffs of dover and jesus xbox got the red ring of death before any actual gameplay could begin, historians beleve that jesus would have won becuase hilter plug pulls when losing.

People who have 100% Through The Fire And The Flames on Expert

People Who Have 100%(FC) Jordan

  • Loren Lilly (still queer)
  • Chris Pollock
  • Michael Porter <--- he owes me money
  • Chuck Norris
  • Jordan O'Brian
  • Slash
  • Buckethead (HE FUCKING WROTE IT YOU MORONS!)
  • God
  • Jesus
  • Grues
  • Dimebag Darrell
  • Marcus Goegan
  • Nobody can
  • Jeff Metz
  • A bigger wheel than you
  • Sputnick Stansky Spires III
  • Your mom
  • Your dad
  • AAA
  • HellAshes (aka. God)
  • Gordon Frohman
  • Chimbinha, a brazilian guitar player (and Guitar God)!

Songs that SHOULD be in Guitar Hero 3

  • Burning Of The Midnight Gay - Jeff Metz
  • By the Gay - Red Hot Chili Peppers
  • People who think adding Gay onto song titles in uncyclopedia is fun- Cobol Tongue
  • Calm Like a Gay - Rage Against The Machine
  • Bad Gay - R.E.M.
  • Another One Bites The Gay - Queen
  • Smells Like a Gay - Nirvana
  • Wish You Were Gay - Incubus
  • Theres No Other Gay - Blur
  • Purple Gays - Jimi Hendrix
  • I Bet That You Look Gay On The Dancefloor - Arctic Monkeys
  • Beautiful Gay - U2
  • I Believe In A Thing Called Gay - The Darkness

See Also


This Article Was Edited By the Only one --Nungo12 00:15, 12 December 2007 (UTC)

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