Memories of the Irish-Israeli War

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Memories of the Irish-Israeli War
Author Phil O'Brien
Cover artist Bernard Doyle of Modelbox
Country United Kingdom
Language English
Genre Satire
Publisher New Futurist Books
Publication date
May 1995
Media type Paperback
Pages 263 pp
ISBN 1-899690-00-X
OCLC 33978661
823/.914 21
LC Class PR6065.B7437 M46 1995

Memories of the Irish-Israeli War is a 1995 novel by Phil O'Brien, a pen name for former Cruella de Ville frontwoman Philomena Muinzer derived from her mother's maiden name. The novel, told from the point of view of a waitress from Belfast who calls herself "Poisoner" or "Mad Dog Me", is about a group of illegal Middle Eastern workers calling themselves the "Night Shift", "the Sons of Sheikh Zubair," and "the Sons of Umm Muhammad", at a kebab shop, the Cholman Deli in Leicester Square, who commit acts of terrorism because they desire and have been unable to get British citizenship. Angry about how easily she can get a work visa, being from Ireland, she is treated as a whore by her co-workers, and usually known to them as "the slag".

Poisoner steals a rock of plutonium called the Stone of Scone and hides it in an intimate part of her body. This theft helps draw attention to the restaurant.

The book is written in thick Irish dialect and slang, with long compound-complex sentences and lengthy observations and metaphors by its narrator, who can rarely get in a word with the others, and when she does, she rarely displays the intelligence she shows in the narration, speaking in short, inutile blips in even thicker slang.

Sheikh Zubair is ultimately mentioned as being from Stratford-Upon-Avon. The book ends with Ilan married to Zeev's mother and a lengthy sex scene between Zeev and Mad Dog Me.