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Talk:16 Vayathinile/GA1

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Reviewer: Dr. Blofeld (talk · contribs) 08:03, 27 May 2015 (UTC)[reply]


Lede
  • "At the age of 16" -Capitalise this.
 Done As asked. Thamizhan1994 (Appo Pesu) 09:09, 27 May 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  • No need for the accent on début in English
 Done removed the accent. Thamizhan1994 (Appo Pesu) 09:09, 27 May 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  • "The film was originally titled Mayil but was changed to 16 Vayathinile so as to present it in a more artistic manner. " -not clear why this is more artistic.
 Done Rajkannu wanted to make the title of the film more fancy to hear and look at so he requested Bharathiraja to change the title. Wrote the same in the lede and production section. Thamizhan1994 (Appo Pesu) 09:09, 27 May 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  • "This was the first film to focus on the rural areas of Tamil Nadu" -really? I could have sworn I saw a 50s or 60s Tamil film once set in a village.
 Done Reworded. Thamizhan1994 (Appo Pesu) 09:09, 27 May 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  • "16 Vayathinile was also" -don't begin a paragraph with also.
 Done It is reworded. Thamizhan1994 (Appo Pesu) 09:09, 27 May 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  • praises -just praise will do
 Done Changed. Thamizhan1994 (Appo Pesu) 09:09, 27 May 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  • "16 Vayathinile achieved cult status" -where, in the UK? In Tamil Nadu/southern India perhaps.
 Done Changed to "16 Vayathinile is considered a cult film in Tamil cinema". Thamizhan1994 (Appo Pesu) 09:09, 27 May 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  • "that featured village life in the style of a realistic and authentic manner. " -the style of a manner? try "that portrayed rural life realistically".
 Done As asked. Thamizhan1994 (Appo Pesu) 09:09, 27 May 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  • As you link Tamil, link Telugu and Hindi
 Done As asked. Thamizhan1994 (Appo Pesu) 09:09, 27 May 2015 (UTC)[reply]
Plot
  • "who is called by the villagers as "Chappani"" ="who is referred to by the villagers as"
  • Haha, my initial image in my head was John Mills's character in Ryan's Daughter, I was right ;-)
 Done Yes, the film has some similarities with Ryan's Daughter. Your comments here have been resolved. Thamizhan1994 (Appo Pesu) 09:12, 27 May 2015 (UTC)[reply]
Casting
  • " Bharathiraja expected Haasan to accept a salary of ₹15,000 (US$1,717 in 1977)[c] as Haasan was paid ₹17,000 (US$2,030 in 1975)[d] for the film Aayirathil Oruthi (1975). Haasan, however, sought ₹30,000 (US$3,433 in 1977) as salary,[c] which prompted Lakshmanan to suggest Bharathiraja to offer the role to Sivakumar as the production unit could not afford to pay Haasan, but Bharathiraja felt that Haasan was the ideal choice for Chappani and agreed to pay ₹27,000 (US$3,090 in 1977)[c] to Haasan.[" -this is rather tedious to read. Can you find a way to simplify/improve it? I'm not sure I particularly care the exact amount anyway.
 Done Removed the amount conversions. Kept the footnotes showing the conversion factors. Thamizhan1994 (Appo Pesu) 09:18, 27 May 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  • "In 2013, Bharathiraja revealed that although he had finalised ₹3,000 as the salary for Rajinikanth after the latter initially charged ₹5,000, he had paid ₹2,500 (US$343 in 1977)[c]" -again, I don't really care, at best I think this should be in a footnote.
 Done As asked. Thamizhan1994 (Appo Pesu) 09:18, 27 May 2015 (UTC)[reply]
Filming
  • Rep of "as a result"
 Done Reworded. Thamizhan1994 (Appo Pesu) 09:19, 27 May 2015 (UTC)[reply]
Music
  • Again "Ilaiyaraaja, in an April 2015 interview with Maalai Malar, stated that Kannadasan accepted salaries ranging from ₹1,000[c] to ₹1,500[c]. Ilaiyaraaja suggested Kannadasan to accept ₹750[c] citing the film's budget constraints, to which Kannadasan agreed.[17]" all this belongs in a footnote as it affects the prose.
 Done As asked. Thamizhan1994 (Appo Pesu) 09:25, 27 May 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  • "According to film critic Baradwaj Rangan, a Vienna-based orchestra troupe was used for "Chendoora Poove", though he did not mention the name of the troupe." -why not simply "According to film critic Baradwaj Rangan, an unnamed Vienna-based orchestra troupe was used for "Chendoora Poove"!
 Done As asked. Thamizhan1994 (Appo Pesu) 09:25, 27 May 2015 (UTC)[reply]
Release
  • Delink Tamil Nadu
  • Link Telugu and Hindi languages
 Done Your comments here have been resolved. Thamizhan1994 (Appo Pesu) 09:43, 27 May 2015 (UTC)[reply]
Reception
  • Nothing critical to say about it? 62.5 out of 100 for a start isn't exactly a great rating, surely he said something negative about it?
 Done That is major problem with Ananda Vikatan. They almost always give ratings of 40 to 60 out of 100 for films. For "exceptionally good films", they rate it between 60 and 70 (rare occurrence). I have removed the rating. Thamizhan1994 (Appo Pesu) 09:43, 27 May 2015 (UTC)[reply]
Legacy
  • " this film became a trendsetter and a benchmark for films that that portrayed rural life in the state in a realistic and authentic manner" -same problem as in lede.
 Done Reworded. Thamizhan1994 (Appo Pesu) 09:43, 27 May 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Haasan's performance was considered to be a tour de force " -by whom?
 Done Reworded. Thamizhan1994 (Appo Pesu) 09:43, 27 May 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  • What the frank is " "Kamal's styles""?
 Done Reworded. I got confused with the "Style Sutra" chapter heading in the book. My bad. Thamizhan1994 (Appo Pesu) 09:43, 27 May 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  • "The dialogue "Idhu Eppadi Irukku?" (English: How is this?) spoken by Rajinikanth became very popular.[8] It was also the first punch dialogue he spoke in his career.[2] In 2013, IANS included it in a list of dialogues popularised by Rajinikanth and wrote, "This line was so admired that even after three decades since the film's release, it still lingers in the minds of the actor's fans".[45] Rediff wrote, "He repeats the punchline 'Ithu eppadi irukku?' (How's that?) [sic] with lecherous glee to the delight of his fans. Repeated punchlines, merrily lapped up by the increasing multitude of his fans, became a part of Rajni's acting style and the trend continues to this day".[28] Behindwoods too made mention of it by saying, "How often is the one liner delivered by a villain remembered and repeated for years? Rarely, if ever and it took one of Rajini’s finest performances to make this happen".[29] A dialogue spoken by Goundamani in the film, "Paththa Vechutiye Parattai" (English: You've started it, Parattai.), also became popular.[46"
I find this really tedious to read, can you not simply summarise this in a line or two? The quotes are unnecessary here I think.
 Done I have summarised the paragraph. Thamizhan1994 (Appo Pesu) 09:43, 27 May 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  • "inspired film titles - Parattai Engira Azhagu Sundaram (2007) and Mayilu (2012).[31][53] The title of the film also inspired " -rep of "inspired"
 Done Reworded. Thamizhan1994 (Appo Pesu) 09:45, 27 May 2015 (UTC)[reply]

I think I must have counted at least 15 uses of "also" in the article, in one paragraph alone I counted four LOL. Try to avoid that as much as possible in future articles. Overall the content is there but it really could use a further copyedit. In a lot of places the prose is plodding and disorganized in parts which affects the flow and enjoyment of reading it.I'm prepared to pass it once you've addressed the above, but please consider asking a few people to read and help improve the prose.♦ Dr. Blofeld 09:37, 27 May 2015 (UTC)[reply]

@Dr. Blofeld: Thank you once again for the review, Dr. Blofeld. I have reduced the number of times the word "also" occurs. Thamizhan1994 (Appo Pesu) 09:46, 27 May 2015 (UTC)[reply]
I removed a fair few myself!♦ Dr. Blofeld 10:05, 27 May 2015 (UTC)[reply]

GA review – see WP:WIAGA for criteria

  1. Is it reasonably well written?
    A. Prose quality:
    B. MoS compliance:
  2. Is it factually accurate and verifiable?
    A. References to sources:
    B. Citation of reliable sources where necessary:
    C. No original research:
  3. Is it broad in its coverage?
    A. Major aspects:
    B. Focused:
  4. Is it neutral?
    Fair representation without bias:
  5. Is it stable?
    No edit wars, etc:
  6. Does it contain images to illustrate the topic?
    A. Images are copyright tagged, and non-free images have fair use rationales:
    B. Images are provided where possible and appropriate, with suitable captions:
  7. Overall:
    Pass or Fail:

Well researched, good to see books you got hold of some books too which always helps quality. The prose could still be tightened up though and would benefit from a few others reading and pruning it, can you ask a few people to look at it?♦ Dr. Blofeld 10:18, 27 May 2015 (UTC)[reply]

@Dr. Blofeld: I will most definitely do it, Dr. Blofeld. Thamizhan1994 (Appo Pesu) 11:19, 27 May 2015 (UTC)[reply]
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