Talk:1952 Kern County earthquake/GA1
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Reviewer: Secret (talk · contribs) 14:57, 29 March 2014 (UTC)
I'll be reviewing this article sometime this week. Secret account 14:57, 29 March 2014 (UTC)
- Thanks, I've been working on the article again after making the nomination, after I found some additional sources. There's a bit more to come this weekend. I'll check in again when the bulk of it has been added. Dawnseeker2000 13:49, 11 April 2014 (UTC)
- Ok I was planning to review it today as I was extremely busy but I'll wait until Monday. Thanks Secret account 18:24, 12 April 2014 (UTC)
Perfect, that should give me plenty of time to wrap up these final hour additions and improvements. Thanks, Dawnseeker2000 19:06, 12 April 2014 (UTC)
- Done with adding material and is ready for review. Quite a bit was added in the last few weeks, with more sections and finer detail. More was added to the lead to reflect the new text, and an aftershock table was added. I feel like the new aspects of the story are now in there, but the flow is only OK. A few of the existing sources were replaced with new sources and I'm sure there are areas that can be improved, Dawnseeker2000 14:31, 14 April 2014 (UTC)
Reviewing, great work as always ....
- "though this intensity rating was not indicative of the majority of damage in the area" Sounds like original research in an already extremely long sentence, this can be cut.
Done The second half of that long sentence is a preview / summary of the second (shorter) paragraph in the Earthquake section. Not many earthquakes reach level XI in intensity, and it's important to clarify that that intensity was not widespread. I broke up the sentence, refined what it summarizes, and moved it down in the paragraph. Dawnseeker2000 04:10, 22 April 2014 (UTC)
- Bakersfield is mentioned in the lead and the aftermath as being significantly damaged by the earthquake, but nothing on the Damage section, maybe expand a bit or move from other parts of the article.
Done Found a bit in the Los Angeles Times article that briefly discusses the mild to moderate effects of the mainshock, and I've added a summary of what it says to the Damage section. Bakersfield seemed to be hit worse with the August aftershock. Dawnseeker2000 04:10, 22 April 2014 (UTC)
- "In statements made in the July 22 Los Angeles Times the shock was compared to the 1857 Fort Tejon event." - needs a comma.
- Why the link to the Kern County Fire Department as see also, but nothing in the text.
Done The source didn't mention the fire department, but when I added the link during the initial expansion in 2013, the mid-2013 version of that article did have more information on the event. It no longer does, so I've removed the link. Dawnseeker2000 04:10, 22 April 2014 (UTC)
- No close paraphrasing concerns, all sources are reliable and the few online sources matches the text given. Images are free. Secret account 20:28, 20 April 2014 (UTC)
I passed the article, none of my concerns really prevent it from getting good article status. Thanks Secret account 23:23, 20 April 2014 (UTC)
- Thanks, I'm not at home right now so can't dive in and make any of the changes, but will work on it tomorrow evening after work, and will reply here with the details. Dawnseeker2000 01:05, 21 April 2014 (UTC)