Talk:2009 Women's Cricket World Cup final/GA1
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Reviewer: Sarastro1 (talk · contribs) 20:10, 6 June 2012 (UTC)
Another good one. No real problems, and I'm nit-picking a little. My only concern (and I'm not the best one to address this) is how accessible this would be to the non-cricketer. But this is GA, not FAC and I don't see this as a problem here at all. But it may be worth bearing in mind if you take it further. However, I think a few more links would help.
- Do we really need to make the point about Australia (traditional rivals, main adversary) twice?
- Fair point, removed the second occasion. Harrias talk 21:07, 6 June 2012 (UTC)
- "Patient half-century" is slightly POV; slow or cautious may be better.
- Changed to cautious; though I'm not overly convinced that one is any more or less POV than the other. Harrias talk 21:07, 6 June 2012 (UTC)
- "helped to restrict the run chase": Not sure you can restrict a run-chase. A total, yes, but not a chase. Maybe "slowed the run chase"? And should run chase be hyphenated?
- Changed to "slowed the run chase." The Daily Telegraph and ESPNcricinfo both use it without hyphens, so I'll stick with that. Harrias talk 21:07, 6 June 2012 (UTC)
- "South Africa fell apart in their chase": a little too journalistic?
- Without a doubt. I've changed it to "struggled in their chase". Could do with being a little stronger maybe, but it gets more or less the same point across. Harrias talk 21:07, 6 June 2012 (UTC)
- "led by a century": A hint of sports-speak again.
- Cleaned this sentence up. Harrias talk 09:44, 9 June 2012 (UTC)
- "New Zealand set a record second wicket parternership in their final match": A record for who, and in what competition? All ODIs or just WC matches?
- Clarified this and added another reference. Harrias talk 12:42, 13 June 2012 (UTC)
- "Shelley Nitschke strangled the run scoring": And again, journalese.
- Changed to "slowed". Harrias talk 12:42, 13 June 2012 (UTC)
- "New Zealand collapsed to 101 for 7, during which middle-order batsmen Sara McGlashan and Aimee Mason both got starts": Not sure it sounds quite right, getting starts during a collapse.
- How about if I replaced "collapsed" with something like "toiled"? Harrias talk 12:42, 13 June 2012 (UTC)
- Not sure that toiled is an improvement, to be honest. Maybe "Although middle-order batsmen Sara McGlashan and Aimee Mason both got starts, New Zealand collapsed to 101 for 7."? Sarastro1 (talk) 13:16, 13 June 2012 (UTC)
- That works, thanks. Harrias talk 13:26, 13 June 2012 (UTC)
- "despite not hitting the ball.[25] Despite their struggles": Despite… despite
- Changed one. Harrias talk 12:42, 13 June 2012 (UTC)
- Unless I've missed it, the only mention of Shaw as MoM is in the lead.
- Oops! Added to the end of the match summary. Harrias talk 13:00, 13 June 2012 (UTC)
- Maybe some more links: partnership, fours, sixes, mid-on, seam, spin
- Added quite a few more. Harrias talk 12:42, 13 June 2012 (UTC)
- Images, links and dablinks all check out fine. Spot-checks reveal no problems.
As usual, a few minor copy-edits, but feel free to revert. I'll put this on hold for the moment, but it's another easy pass. Good stuff. Sarastro1 (talk) 20:31, 6 June 2012 (UTC)
- I've addressed the first half of the points, will have to come back to the second half. Cheers for the review. Harrias talk 21:07, 6 June 2012 (UTC)
- Last minor point to sort, then I'll pass. Sarastro1 (talk) 13:17, 13 June 2012 (UTC)