Talk:A. W. Piper/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Hchc2009 (talk · contribs) 21:09, 30 January 2016 (UTC)[reply]

I'll read through and review properly tomorrow. Hchc2009 (talk) 21:09, 30 January 2016 (UTC)[reply]

There doesn't appear to be any further activity on the article or the page below, so I will record as a fail. Hchc2009 (talk) 08:33, 6 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Well-written:

(a) the prose is clear and concise, respects copyright laws, and the spelling and grammar are correct;

" From 1890-1896 the city charter was amended to use a bicameral system, made up of a House of Delegates with to members from each of the city's now eight wards, where previously there had been three wards, and a nine-member at-large Board of Aldermen." - I couldn't work out what this bit was trying to tell us about Piper... (NB: and "two", vice "to)
"Piper's bakery was destroyed in the Great Seattle Fire of June 6, 1889.... The Portland Morning Oregonian of May 4, 1888..." - these two paragraphs would be much clearer if they ran through the events in chronological order
Why sometimes "Victoria" and other times "Victoria, B.C."?
"After the Fire he ran a bakery" - lower-case "fire"
"Piper was a Freemason,[6] president of Seattle Turn Verein (society) (see Turners; a liberal German movememt which produced several members of the Revolution of 1848),[27] and member of the Seattle Liederkranz, a German cultural club that sang and danced" - a really awkward sentence - having two sections in brackets in the middle is difficult to follow. NB: movement, vice movememt.
"1523 Boren Ave." - expand Ave.
"His property on Lake Washington..." - what property? I can't see this mentioned anywhere above. Is this the same or different to the Pipers Creek farm?

(b) it complies with the manual of style guidelines for lead sections, layout, words to watch, fiction, and list incorporation.

Factually accurate and verifiable:

(a) it provides references to all sources of information in the section(s) dedicated to the attribution of these sources according to the guide to layout;

(b) it provides in-line citations from reliable sources for direct quotations, statistics, published opinion, counter-intuitive or controversial statements that are challenged or likely to be challenged, and contentious material relating to living persons—science-based articles should follow the scientific citation guidelines;

Is the SGS bulletin a reliable source? I note that it seems to contradict both the place and date of birth the article uses here. Similarly, the article states that "Piper did not rebuild, heading for Alaska instead." The bulletin suggests that he could not "say no to people", fell into poverty and was forced to "start again" in Alaska. It also mentions the gold-rush, which this article doesn't.

"He owned a Bavarian style konditorei, the Puget Sound Candy Manufactory, in Seattle's Pioneer Square on Front St. between Cherry and Mill Streets." - I can't see the "Bavarian style konditorei" bit mentioned in the cited sources.
"A. W. Piper may have been the first of several Socialists or Communists on the Seattle City Council, including Hugh De Lacy, elected in 1937, who was a secret member of Communist Party USA; and Kshama Sawant, who won a seat in 2013 as Socialist Alternative party member." - needs a reference
"The trees are still productive, and an annual Festival of Fruit is held there." - needs a reference
The infobox gives his date of birth as "ca. March 1828"; the cited source actually says he was "probably born in March 1828"; circa means "around", and in this case isn't appropriate (the source isn't saying that he might have been born in February or April instead). I'm not sure where the main text takes its "around" from, but if its the same source, that needs altering too. Hchc2009 (talk) 08:46, 31 January 2016 (UTC)[reply]

(c) it contains no original research.

"By 1871 they were living in Victoria, British Columbia where Piper was a confectioner on Government and Fort Streets." - the cited primary source only says that "a" A. W. Piper was living there; saying categorically that this individual was "our" A. W. Piper is OR. This could be fixed by clarifying the text (as you do with "An 1873 newspaper announcement said an ...")

Broad in its coverage:

(a) it addresses the main aspects of the topic;

(b) it stays focused on the topic without going into unnecessary detail (see summary style).

Neutral: it represents viewpoints fairly and without bias, giving due weight to each.

Stable: it does not change significantly from day to day because of an ongoing edit war or content dispute.

Illustrated, if possible, by images:

(a) images are tagged with their copyright status, and valid fair use rationales are provided for non-free content;

File:AW Piper at Seattles First Potlatch Sept 14 1883.jpg - this needs a publication date to justify the stated US tag
https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/7/72/A._W._Piper_Seattle_map.jpg - Dennis: can I confirm that that you drew the original underlying map with the road network, coastline etc. yourself? (NB: if so, many kudos, because you've done an excellent job! I'm just a little concerned that it looks as if it might have been a professional map from somewhere, over which some additional text was added.)

(b) images are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions.

Discussion

Thanks for your review! I should be able to take care of these points shortly. Stay tuned. --Dennis Bratland (talk) 02:56, 3 February 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Map data licensing I've added this note to the map file at Commons: "Created with Tableau. Underlying map data from Tableau via OpenStreetMap using Open Data Commons Open Database License (ODbL). See About Tableau Maps." --Dennis Bratland (talk) 00:59, 7 February 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Hchc2009, Dennis Bratland, where does this review stand? There doesn't appear to have been any action for 17 days, and aside from the map file, no edits to the article material for over three weeks. BlueMoonset (talk) 21:36, 24 February 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Sorry I've had a lot going on lately. I should be able to focus on this now. Thanks for your patience! --Dennis Bratland (talk) 22:01, 24 February 2016 (UTC)[reply]