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Happy to review this interesting article.
- Not mentioned in the lead: that Ocampo emigrated to California in 1970 - her higher education - that in the past she worked for the Jet Propulsion Laboratory - her contribution towards the Viking mission - her involvement in the Belize expedition, the Galilieo mission and the Juno mission - her awards. (see MOS:INTRO)
- As well, in 1996, Ocampo and her colleagues discovered the Aorounga Crater Chain in Chad. She continues to search for new impact craters, and with her team, recently reported on a possible crater near Cali, Colombia. Ocampo has had an asteroid name after her in recognition of her contributions to space exploration - none of the information here is included in the main body. ("Apart from basic facts, significant information should not appear in the lead if it is not covered in the remainder of the article." from Wikipedia:Manual of Style/Lead section.)
- Done "As well, in 1996, Ocampo and her colleagues discovered the Aorounga Crater Chain in Chad. She continues to search for new impact craters, and with her team, recently reported on a possible crater near Cali, Colombia." has been removed from the lead. "campo has had an asteroid name after her in recognition of her contributions to space exploration" has been incorporated to the main body. Flavinista (talk) 15:52, 2 May 2020 (UTC)
- Refs 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8 & 9 are unlikely to be challenged, and so can be taken out of the lead section and used in the main article. (see MOS:LEADCITE)
- Link Columbian; cenotes; satellite images; Cali; asteroid; space exploration.
Early life and education
- There is not really any need to link U.S. citizenship.
- Consider linking M.S. degree and giving it its proper title 'Master of Science'.
- During high school, Ocampo was part of the Jet Propulsion Laboratory (JPL) troop 509. This short sentences does not require any more than 2 references.
- Adriana Christian Ocampo… The lead section, the infobox and this phrase all have different versions of her full name. Please amend the article to include her correct full name where it is needed.
- Geology and Planetary Geology are all small letters (the link will still work if the letters are lower case).
- ...in the Netherlands. - probably not needed here.
- Ref. 12 does not appear to me to relate to the article.
- During high school, Ocampo was part of the Jet Propulsion Laboratory (JPL) troop 509. - Ref. 13 does not appear to relate to this sentence.
- In 1980, Ocampo attained U.S. citizenship. - doesn't this contradict the lead section, which describes her as Columbian?
- Not done I believe it does not contradict the statement. In the "early life and education" section it is stated that she was born in Colombia. That she attained her citizenship, later on, does not negate this fact. Therefore, I have prioritized this in the lead. Additionally in most references, she is referred to as "Colombian" rather than "America" thus is seems pertinent. If you have suggestions to further clarify the dual citizenship in the lead, please do not hesitate to reply. Flavinista (talk) 16:03, 2 May 2020 (UTC)
- Link the Solar System (in capitals); Jupiter; Pluto; asteroid; Spanish-language (Spanish language).
- Each of the six paragraphs has its own sub-section title, these are not necessary and I think should go. ("Short paragraphs and single sentences generally do not warrant their own subheading." - see MOS:OVERSECTION).
- Done Sub-sections removed
- ...for New Frontiers… - replace with 'for the for New Frontiers Program' and link New Frontiers program.
- Some of the missions encompassed in this program are… - improve the prose by replacing this with 'These include…'.
- ...currently… - avoid this word, instead including the starting date of her role (see MOS:RELTIME).
- Ref. 17 (Harbaugh) and Ref 18 (Physics Today dated 2017) both don't appear to refer to Ocampo's current role, and if so can't be used as citations for the first sentence in the section. According to this she no longer has a senior role as part of the JPL.
- Not done According to her Linkedin she still works as Program Executive since 2005. However, it is unclear is this position would be listed in the webpage you provided. I will do more digging around to see if there is anything listed in the NASA page in the meantime. Flavinista (talk) 16:21, 2 May 2020 (UTC)
- What are the dates for when she the lead NASA scientist for the VEX and VCO missions? Ref. 19 (Office Of Diversity and Equal Opportunity) provides useful information about her appointments and awards which could be used in the article.
- Ref. 20 leads to this. How does it connect with the publication named?
- Done removed 16:21, 2 May 2020 (UTC)
- Link Mars and Viking 2 in the caption.
- Link Mars in ... images from Mars satellites,…. Shouldn't it be 'of Mars'?
- In 1973, Adriana Ocampo worked in a multi-mission image processing laboratory. - Neither refs 11 or 13 provide an adequate citation for this sentence.
- ...3 - 6 times… - better to write in full ('...3 to 6 times…').
- Link Chicxulub impact crater; mass extinctions on Earth (Extinction event); comets; satellite images; The Planetary Society.
- ...and his son Walter Alvarez, a geologist. - sounds better put as '...and his son the geologist Walter Alvarez.'.
- ...of Iridium n the… - 'of iridium in the…'. Link iridium.
- K-T boundary should link to Cretaceous–Paleogene boundary.
- Who is Kevin O. Pope?
- ...her Colleges… - 'her colleagues…'.
- ...the scientific journal Nature… - replace with '...Nature..' . (in italics).
- ...The Planetary Society (TPS) of Pasadena… - just '...The Planetary Society' will do.
- ...Adriana Ocampo and Kevin Pope. - surnames only are sufficient here and elsewhere in the article.
- ...two new sites containing two layers of material called ejecta. Ejecta means that particles were ejected upon the impact of the asteroid and flowed like lava generating ejecta lobes. - this sounds rather clumsy, perhaps replace it with something like '...two new sites containing two layers consisting of particles that had been ejected upon the impact of the asteroid and then flowed away, generating ejecta lobes.'.
- ...covered by it. - covered by what?
- Replace defended with 'was awarded'.
- The Exobiology Program of NASA Office of Space Science and The Planetary Society (TPS) of Pasadena… can be replaced with 'NASA and The Planetary Society…'.
- ...another expedition… - it sounds as if they sponsored two expeditions, replace another with 'an'.
- ...the expedition in Belize on January… - replace with ' expeditions there in January…'.
- During these expeditions, small particles, like green glass, later identifies as tektites were found in the site. - 'Small particles resembling green glass, and later identified as tektites were found at the site.'.
- These particles are from… Please edit the whole sentence, as at present it makes little sense.
- The correct title for the webpage used in Ref. 25 is needed.
- Unlink Jupiter (already linked).
- Galileo needs to be in italics throughout.
- Icarus should also be in italics.
- She was in charge of… - replace with 'She led…'.
- Galileo the space probe was launched en 1989 in route… - should read' Galileo was launched in 1989 en route..'.
- Adriana incorporated math examples that highlighted the Galileo spacecraft in high school math books. is incorrect, according to the citation used.
- Link solar panels.
- Juno needs to be in italics throughout.
- As the lead program Executive, Adriana Ocampo was part of the Juno Mission. Her team was… would sound better put as ' Ocampo led the Juno mission, which was…'.
- ...this planet. - Please correct this, as Juno is not a planet.
- This mission is the first time that a spacecraft is propelled with solar panels with more than 8 meters in length. - perhaps 'Juno is the first spacecraft built with solar panels with a span exceeding 8m.'?
Awards and honours
- Who is Marc Buie?
- ..., as noted in the official naming citation of July 11, 2018, from the Minor Planet Center (M.P.C. 110637) - is not needed here, as it is to be found in the Reference section.
- Link Kevin O. Pope in ref. 24
- Location and page number needed for ref. 2 (Yount).
- The NASA profile link is already in the references section, and so should be taken out of the External Links section.
- Done External links section has been removed
- The second link doesn't lead to anything about Ocampo, can it be replaced?
- Done External links section has been removed
- Imo the third link is not suitable for an encyclopedia article.
- Done External links section has been removed
- @Amitchell125: - Most of the changes/concerns/etc. has been addressed above. Except in some instances where I expanded with some clarification. Again, apologies for the delay in addressing your concerns. Please let me know if there is something that needs to be addressed. Flavinista (talk) 16:31, 2 May 2020 (UTC)
- @Flavinista: - Many thanks for the amendments, things are looking good. A minor point or two: imo the lead could do with splitting into two paragraphs, with the second paragraph starting She and her colleagues...; and regarding her current role, which needs to be nailed, she is listed in a 2019 NASA document (here), and her Linkedin account does look useful. Amitchell125 (talk) 07:31, 3 May 2020 (UTC)