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Talk:After Hours (The Office)/GA1

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GA Review

[edit]

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Reviewer: Gen. Quon (talk · contribs) 01:49, 1 March 2012 (UTC)[reply]

OK, I will list the issues:

  • Intro: Kind of vague about "Jim receiving an unwelcome visitor" Maybe expand to explain who it is.
  • Plot: "Dwight scratches off the magnetic strip on his hotel card before giving it to Nellie, stating the seduction was only to gain approval and doesn't intend to have sex with her." Rewrite into "Dwight scratches off the magnetic strip on his hotel card before giving it to Nellie, stating the seduction was only to gain approval and that he doesn't intend to have sex with her."
  • Plot: "accuses Darryl (Craig Robinson) of having an affair with her, having read Darryl's text messages to her." Rewrite to "accuses Darryl (Craig Robinson) of having an affair with her, after having read Darryl's text messages to her."
  • Plot: "Kathy gets defensive and insists that she did not having any romantic intentions whatsoever, so Jim relents" Change 'having' into have
  • Plot: Cite how you know who wrote the episode
  • Reception: Update ratings, the show actually got 5.02 million viewers per this updated article

That's it! I will pass or fail this in seven days, depending on whether not the changes are made.--Gen. Quon (talk) 04:13, 1 March 2012 (UTC)[reply]

I decided to just clean them up myself. I pass!--Gen. Quon (talk) 18:13, 3 March 2012 (UTC)[reply]
Oh thanks, you didn't have to do that :) NoD'ohnuts (talk) 21:43, 5 March 2012 (UTC)[reply]