Talk:Behind the Backlash
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Hi all, I think you have a really good page going here. It all flowed very well and the headings all made sense and were cohesive. I found very few errors, such as the misspelling of the word "the" in the "About the Author" section in the last paragraph. Also, I saw that the same section said the Lori "earned her M.E.d in Education and Human Restudies" I looked up Human restudies but I didn't find anything so I'm not sure if this is a typo. I think your reference page may need like the date you accessed the websites and all that, but that's an easy fix. You all did a really good job, the page looks really good! Msoto9 (talk) 04:36, 14 October 2016 (UTC)
Peer Review Group 13
[edit]The page overall, was really good and the structure was appropriate. One thing you might want to do is recheck your information in each paragraph. For example, in the first paragraph it said it has the narratives of 120 muslim americans. When I checked two of the sources they both said it was 140 muslim americans. Another recommendation is to add the citations in the paragraphs to ensure the information is correct. Overall the article wasn't bias and summarized the key factors of the book. The page is looking really good otherwise!Melissa6 (talk) 15:07, 14 October 2016 (UTC)
Group 13 Peer Review
[edit]I'm really impressed with the amount of sources and information you guys were able to get. It really helps bring the page together. That being said, for the final draft, make sure that you include some in text citations within the page, particularly in the summary of the book and the reviews of the book. I also spotted a grammatical error in the first sentence of the summary of the book section. Author should not be capitalized. Also toward the end of the paragraph, a comma isn't needed at "Peek explains that," and "profiled and denied" should be changed to "profiling and the denying of" in order to have a consistent verb tense. Additionally the last part in the About the Author section could be reworded because it's a bit of a run-on sentence. There's also a typo; "was named the Greek Life Professor of teh year," But overall, great work so far, I'm sure the final result will be fantastic! — Preceding unsigned comment added by Adstearn (talk • contribs) 15:28, 14 October 2016 (UTC)
Thank you for your feedback, I have gone back and added in text hyperlink citations. We will also look at the grammar and make the suggested corrections. Thank you for your efforts! Adstearn (talk -Merall sherif — Preceding unsigned comment added by Msherif303 (talk • contribs) 20:52, 11 November 2016 (UTC)
Feedback
[edit]Nice start on your draft. A few things that need work
- Articles need to be based on reliable secondary sources that are independent of the subject, so you shouldn't be relying on sources connected with the author. Every statement should have a supporting citation, so that the reader can connect the statement with the source. At minimum, each paragraph should have one reference, and the reference should come at the very end of the paragraph. Please review the [https://dashboard.wikiedu.org/training/students/sources Sources and Citations] training if you need a refresher on how to add sources.
- External links are not supposed to appear in the body of the article. Instead, they should be used are references if appropriate.
- Remember that you are writing for an international audience. Avoid phrases like "sophomore work", since that isn't an expression that's unlikely to be widely used outside of American English.
- Wikipedia articles don't use honorifics. Use "Lori Peek" or "Peek", not "Dr. Peek".
- You should link terms that might be unfamiliar to the average reader. That way they can click through and read more about the topic.
- You did a good job creating an infobox for the book, but you should really use Template:Infobox book.
- Unfortunately the Reviews section isn't in keeping with Wikipedia rules on using copyright content. You need to describe what was said in your own words - quotes need to be kept to a minimum.
- Section headers use sentence capitalization, not title capitalization; only the first word of the title, and proper nouns, should be capitalized. You should also keep them succinct; "Summary" is good enough.
(If you reply to this message here, please include{{ping|Ian (Wiki Ed)}}
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Ian (Wiki Ed) (talk) 03:52, 27 October 2016 (UTC)
Hi Ian, Thank you so very much for all the feedback! We've been busy discussing how to edit our article based on the comments from our peers and yourself, and are working to finish the article by Wednesday of this week. Please don't hesitate to tell us if you find anything else that can be improved before then. Thanks again! -Logan Griffin — Preceding unsigned comment added by Lcgriff (talk • contribs) 04:40, 8 November 2016 (UTC)
Hello Ian,
Thank you for your feedback. I am redoing the "reviews" sections and deleting the quotations and rewriting them in my own words. I am also adding hyperlink citations. Also, in order to keep it more neutral I have identified the praise and critiques of each review so the reader can navigate it more easily and objectively. {{ping|Ian (Wiki Ed)}}
Thanks,
Merall Sherif