Talk:Bradwall/GA4

GA Review 4

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Reviewer: Casliber (talk · contribs) 07:49, 19 October 2012 (UTC)

Right then - I will make straightforward copyedits as I go (please correct me if I inadvertently change the meaning) and post queries below: Casliber (talk · contribs) 07:49, 19 October 2012 (UTC)

Today, a small number of events take place in Bradwall, including social events at Bradwall Village Hall - two "events" in the one sentence repetitious. change if you can.

A Late Bronze Age axe head dated to 1000-801 BC has also been found near Fields Farm Fisheries in Bradwall. - err, not Roman and predates. Should be before Roman bit. Maybe change header to Pre-middle ages or something so all info can be included.

Better.

of Bradwall into two parts (moieties). - I'd make into prose - take out of parentheses and place after a comma.

You have "Hollins-wood" and "Hollins Wood" - sync up the spelling....

Another notable detainee was one Joshua Tolley... - I don't understand why he was notable from the article.

The school became Bradwall Training School in 1908 - some description of what this means and how it differs from what it was would be helpful. ok

The article switches between metric and imperial. The easiest is to have both with one in brackets.

Worth adding in the Population section why the parish was split and what the population of Elworth is now I think. you tried anyway.

The sections are stubby -I'd put the Bradwall Reformatory School for Boys subsection into the landmarks section to combine mentions. Ok. point taken.

Combine all 1-2 sentence stanzas into bigger paras. Looks choppy otherwise.

Any reserves or greenspace notable in the vicinity?

Thanks for all that. I'll go through your suggestions as I find time, and will let you know when I'm done. --Iantresman (talk) 12:56, 19 October 2012 (UTC)

OK, I've made several updates, which I have summarised on the sub-page Talk:Bradwall/GA4/progress. I've also made some comments where I've deviated from the suggestions, please feel free to disagree with any of them. Any more suggestions welcome. --Iantresman (talk) 20:25, 19 October 2012 (UTC)

Sorry about delay - I need an uninterrupted stretch of time to see where to from here....hang on. Casliber (talk · contribs) 08:52, 21 October 2012 (UTC)

Okay - you can do the progress thingy on this page. Makes it easier all in the one spot. More to come. Casliber (talk · contribs) 13:10, 21 October 2012 (UTC)

Right - just look at my edit summaries. I'm still thinking about this one....it seems still quite slim and choppy, but then again it is a pretty small entity. I'll post more comments below. Casliber (talk · contribs) 13:19, 21 October 2012 (UTC)

In the Place name section - are these spellings for the village or parish (or both?) The section is slim, so any elaboration here on names/ scope etc would be helpful. -- The source context suggests it is referring to the township, but I suspect that the primary sources are not clear, and could refer to (a) the village (b) the CofE parish (c) The civil parish (d) the manor. I've clarified and added another couple of sentences.

Given the size of the article, I think any extra info on the 1000 roman coins would bolster the section nicely. Also the road. And try to avoid quotes wherever possible (i.e. rephrase if you can) -- Done.

I think I'd take sentence one out of Manor of Bradwall and place in place name as it is more about the naming than the manor, and helps buff the latter section which is slim. Sounds reasonable. Done.

I think you'd wanna cite "Compared to the turn of the early 1900s (see Economic History), the economy of Bradwall, along with the population, appears to be in decline.", given the main reason for pop reduction appears to be boundaries moved..... Reworded and cited. There is a hint of WP:SYNTH, but I think the facts support the explanation?

Does Greg Gnyp chair the local council or the 112 councils? Good catch, restated.

On the ordnance survey map it seems to be called Bradwall Green...? I don't understand that either. Google Maps has "Bradwall"[1], as has "A Vision of Britain",[2] Bing and OS has "Bradwall Green"[3], and the street signs show "Bradwall"[4]. I could contact Ordnance Survey, but their reason would be inadmissible to cite.

Thanks again, will progress through them, and confirm when I'm all done. Updates above. --Iantresman (talk) 18:35, 21 October 2012 (UTC)

OK, edit summaries look fine, and updates and comments above. --Iantresman (talk) 21:24, 21 October 2012 (UTC)

Ok. I just put another tag that should be easy to fix. It is definitely looking better. I am thinking of what else is needed to get this through the process.....Casliber (talk · contribs) 00:27, 24 October 2012 (UTC)

Sorted, and thanks. --Iantresman (talk) 10:59, 24 October 2012 (UTC)

1. Well written?:

Prose quality:

Manual of Style compliance:

2. Factually accurate and verifiable?:

References to sources:

Citations to reliable sources, where required: tags

No original research:

3. Broad in coverage?:

Major aspects:

Focused:

4. Reflects a neutral point of view?:

Fair representation without bias:

5. Reasonably stable?

No edit wars, etc. (Vandalism does not count against GA):

6. Illustrated by images, when possible and appropriate?:

Images are copyright tagged, and non-free images have fair use rationales:

Images are provided where possible and appropriate, with suitable captions:

Overall:

Pass or Fail: fourth time looks to be the charm - I can see there's been alot of feedback given and adopted from the first three GANs, sources improved, trivia removed and article balanced. I still feel more can be found but I think the coverage is broad enough to qualify. Just a couple of tags and we're done I think. Casliber (talk · contribs) 13:48, 24 October 2012 (UTC)

OK, I've added the suggested citations. --Iantresman (talk) 20:34, 24 October 2012 (UTC)