Talk:Brian Wilson (baseball)/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Go Phightins! (talk · contribs) 21:57, 2 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]

I will review this article. Go Phightins! 21:57, 2 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]

GA review – see WP:WIAGA for criteria

Is it reasonably well written?
A. Prose quality:
There are numerous issues relating to prose quality. I'll get to them at the end.

B. MoS compliance for lead, layout, words to watch, fiction, and lists:
Is his height and weight really important to mention in the lead? The lead doesn't summarize the content of the article very well at all. For one, you mention that he's a free agent twice yet I see little mention of that in the article itself. Why was he non-tendered? Did the Giants no longer think he was effective? Did he have some sort of falling out? Were they still concerned with his health? The rest of this criterion is fine.
Is it factually accurate and verifiable?
A. Has an appropriate reference section:
Please standardize the date format. I see both yyyy-mm-dd and Month Day, Year. Please choose one or the other and standardize that please.

Why is the "work" listed as Giants.MLB.com; it should be SFGiants.com: News, I believe.

B. Citation to reliable sources where necessary:
Good work here.

C. No original research:
Well, I am content to AGF for the scouting report section, but since the source corroborating his repertoire is a dead link, it'd be worth a try to look at Fangraphs.com to see if you can find replacement sources.
Is it broad in its coverage?
A. Major aspects:
Right on.

B. Focused:
Good.
Is it neutral?
Fair representation without bias:
No peacocking or weasling that I see.
Is it stable?
No edit wars, etc:
Good.
Does it contain images to illustrate the topic?
A. Images are tagged with their copyright status, and valid fair use rationales are provided for non-free content:
Yes.

B. Images are provided if possible and are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions:
Seem so.
Overall:
Pass or Fail:
Prose suggestions coming later tonight or tomorrow. Go Phightins! 22:33, 2 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Specific prose suggestions

Lead

his third college season to his junior season
Remove despite his injury as there is nothing in the article stating that teams don't normally select pitchers who have had TJ surgery in their lives...if they selected him in an especially high round, that may warrant a mention, but not just the sole fact that he was selected
put a comma after 2008 ...but posted a 4.62 ERA
No context for what a good performance in saves is in the lead, so still posted 36 saves doesn't necessarily make sense to a casual reader (I know that's impressive, but others may not)
Link 2012 season

Early life

Why was he raised in a different town than he was born?
Any anecdotes of this strictness?
change would add to added in last sentence

Amateur career

Extreme focus on the game seems rather peacocky; what kind of focus did he show? How was he focused? Again, an anecdote would help.

Changed wording; the story about the 29 professional scouts is the anecdote. Sanfranciscogiants17 (talk) 12:04, 4 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]

A coach happened to see him? How so?
unlink starts; that's overlinking, in my opinion
He also played for the Keene Swamp Bats of the New England Collegiate Baseball League comes out of left field. (gotta like a baseball reference in a baseball GAN) Context please.

Minor league career

Can we get a ref in the first three sentences of that section?

Ref #8 covers the first four sentences. Sanfranciscogiants17 (talk) 12:20, 4 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]

The Campbell reference seems forced. Remove it?

San Francisco Giants

2006

- Why was Walker DFA-ed? Either explain or remove the mention entirely.
- Clarify Giants' manager Felipe Alou said he was not getting enough playing time. Is that Wilson or Worrell?

2007

- He competed for the closer job, and then didn't even make the roster? ^{[clarification needed]}
- Why did Hennessey lose the role? Ineffectiveness? Injury?

2008

- What is significant about the reference to the game where he loaded the bases and then got a save? I'm a Phillies fan, so that's hardly unusual for me. Brad Lidge was an expert at that.
- Remove the second "saves" in the next sentence; it's redundant.
- Despite posting a 4.04 ERA through September 6, Wilson converted 37 of 40 save opportunites; however, he posted a 9.56 ERA in his final seven games of the year while converting just four out of seven opportunities. Can we split this into two separate, though complex sentences. It's kind of long and rather ambiguous (I had to read it thrice before I could figure out what it said)

2009

- That's a lot of content about one game. Who said it was the highlight of the season? The source provided is from the day of the event, so it doesn't represent an end of the year review that could, I suppose, appoint it the highlight of the season.

2010

- Perhaps foreshadow a little with that quote - show that it's going to come up later.
- I'll stipulate the deal on Matsui is noteworthy, but the next one seems rather forced. He got a five out save...is that really such a huge deal? Mariano Rivera...

If it was just five outs, it would not have been notable. However, the bases were loaded when Wilson entered the game; if he had walked just one hitter, the game would have been tied. This was not just an average save. Sanfranciscogiants17 (talk) 12:40, 4 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]

- He recorded 22 saves in his first 24 chances and was named to the All-Star Game; he threw a perfect eighth inning in the contest in a 3–1 victory over the AL to He recorded 22 saves in his first 24 chances and was named to the All-Star Game in which he threw a scoreless eighth inning in the contest, a 3-1 victory over the AL
- Make that the final day of the regular season; important to note since there's a lot of info. on the post season.
- Perhaps this is because Chooch is my favorite player, but I don't see why it's important to note his DP. Remember, we are supposed to use summary style in these kinds of articles.

I think it is important to note his double play because A: Carlos Ruiz is a really good hitter (as you well know), and B: it was a very tight situation. If Ruiz had had a hit, the game would have been tied (at least). Sanfranciscogiants17 (talk) 12:40, 4 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]

2011

- Link oblique muscle.
- ...attacking a Gatorade cooler with a baseball bat - seems like an unnecessary euphemism to me. Just say he took out his frustrations on a Gatorade cooler
- He converted 36 of 41 save opportunities; he tied with Juan Carlos Oviedo for eighth in the league in saves. to He converted 36 of his 41 save opportunities which tied Juan Carlos Oviedo for eighth in the league. Also, clarify which league: NL or MLB?

2012

- Absolutely no context for With the Giants leading the Colorado Rockies 4–1 entering the bottom of the ninth inning on April 12, 2012, Wilson made his second appearance of the season to get the save for the Giants. He walked in a run to make it 4–2, but he retired Marco Scutaro with the bases loaded to earn the save. Some introduction is necessary.
- Split the sentence about his confidence and subsequent non-tendering. Why was he non-tendered?

Scouting report

A source is needed now that we have a deadlink. I would recommend checking Fangraphs for information of that nature.
Good quote there. That one makes sense.

Personality

Perhaps flamboyant would be a better term than unique, which seems a little weaslish.
Not quite sure as to the derivation of the order of what's in the section, but the content itself is well-written.

I'm placing this on hold for one week. Go Phightins! 00:28, 3 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Changes addressed; thanks for the review! Sanfranciscogiants17 (talk) 12:52, 4 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]