Talk:Brighton Palace Pier/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: The Rambling Man (talk · contribs) 09:36, 15 August 2017 (UTC)

• I'm not overwhelmed by the two-sentence opening paragraph of the lead, could use a little bit of expansion.

I've dropped a bit more in. Ritchie333 ^{(talk) (cont)} 11:07, 15 August 2017 (UTC)

• "over 4 million visitors" four.

Done Ritchie333 ^{(talk) (cont)} 11:07, 15 August 2017 (UTC)

• "Carry on at Your Convenience " should have On not on.

ooooh, matron Ritchie333 ^{(talk) (cont)} 11:07, 15 August 2017 (UTC)

• I don't know where the discussion is but like "the Beatles", there seems to be a trend towards "the Who" not "The Who" in this setting.

I think you're right - fixed. Ritchie333 ^{(talk) (cont)} 11:07, 15 August 2017 (UTC)

• " 85 miles" convert.

Oops, forgot. Ritchie333 ^{(talk) (cont)} 11:07, 15 August 2017 (UTC)

• "3 months " three.

Fixed Ritchie333 ^{(talk) (cont)} 11:07, 15 August 2017 (UTC)

• " it had fallen into a state of repair" disrepair?

Oops Ritchie333 ^{(talk) (cont)} 11:07, 15 August 2017 (UTC)

• "colliding into the " things usually "collide with" not "into".

Changed to "colliding with"

• " in 1901, after opening" both are unnecessary, maybe "two years after opening"?

Fixed Ritchie333 ^{(talk) (cont)} 11:07, 15 August 2017 (UTC)

• Brighton Marine Palace and Pier should be a redirect to this article.

Done Ritchie333 ^{(talk) (cont)} 11:07, 15 August 2017 (UTC)

• "kursaals " what are these?

Entertainment / health venues popular in 19th century continental Europe. I've dropped in a definition - we don't have an article (at least in the English Wikipedia)

• "mined " is piped to "sea mine" which redirects to "naval mine", cut out the middle man.

Fixed Ritchie333 ^{(talk) (cont)} 11:07, 15 August 2017 (UTC)

• "some decking removed as a security precaution. A section of decking was removed in order to prevent access from an enemy landing." is this saying the same thing twice or something else? Either way it's repetitive.

This is what happens when you improve articles in random order without paying attention. Fixed. Ritchie333 ^{(talk) (cont)} 11:07, 15 August 2017 (UTC)

• Not sure there's a necessity to link storm.

Fixed Ritchie333 ^{(talk) (cont)} 11:07, 15 August 2017 (UTC)

• If you insist on linking "barge", do it first time.

Don't think we need to do this. Ritchie333 ^{(talk) (cont)} 11:07, 15 August 2017 (UTC)

• Convert 70-ton.

Stupid question - convert to what? Metric tonnes? {{convert|70|ton|adj=on}} brings up an error. Ritchie333 ^{(talk) (cont)} 11:07, 15 August 2017 (UTC)

Does 70-long-ton (71 t) work? The Rambling Man (talk) 06:35, 16 August 2017 (UTC)

Yup, it does. I think. I like this video, though. Ritchie333 ^{(talk) (cont)} 08:56, 16 August 2017 (UTC)

• " looks fairly modern " reads a little like a tourist brochure.

I've rewritten this bit. Ritchie333 ^{(talk) (cont)} 11:07, 15 August 2017 (UTC)

• "2000-present" en-dash needed.

Aah, Bungle doesn't hit the "fix dashes using a script" after his editing sessions :-P Ritchie333 ^{(talk) (cont)} 11:07, 15 August 2017 (UTC)

• "or some " shouldn't that be "and" or "nor"?

Changed to "nor some"

• " as the Palace Pier.[1] The Palace Pier suffered a large fire " repetitive prose, and really, really no need to link "fire". And "suffer a fire" is an odd turn of phrase.

Agreed (the link must have already been there when I came across the article and I didn't spot it) Ritchie333 ^{(talk) (cont)} 11:07, 15 August 2017 (UTC)

• "This was a fraught period for Brighton's piers, with much damage occurring to the West Pier shortly before and after this event" I don't really understand, if "this event" means the fire, how did "much damage" "occur" "shortly before" it?

I didn't write this, I just borrowed sources from West Pier. However, since the two fires are not actually related (at least not outside maybe a conspiracy theory website, which wouldn't pass WP:RS anyway), I've removed this. Ritchie333 ^{(talk) (cont)} 11:07, 15 August 2017 (UTC)

• "In 2004 the " comma.

Fixed Ritchie333 ^{(talk) (cont)} 11:07, 15 August 2017 (UTC)

• " Brighton and Hove Council," missing a "City"?

Fixed Ritchie333 ^{(talk) (cont)} 11:07, 15 August 2017 (UTC)

• "unexpectedly put the pier for sale, with an expected" unexpectedly ... expected... is odd to read in the same sentence.

Removed "unexpectedly" (unexpected in whose opinion) Ritchie333 ^{(talk) (cont)} 11:07, 15 August 2017 (UTC)

• "PizzaExpress" appears to be one word.

Well that's what the article's under, though I see it's been challenged and to be honest I agree that the WP:COMMONNAME has two words. (Plus the BBC source used here also uses two words). Ritchie333 ^{(talk) (cont)} 11:07, 15 August 2017 (UTC)

• "roller coaster" or "rollercoaster"?

Since the article has a space, I'll go with that. Ritchie333 ^{(talk) (cont)} 11:07, 15 August 2017 (UTC)

• Mirrormask -> MirrorMask.

Fixed Ritchie333 ^{(talk) (cont)} 11:07, 15 August 2017 (UTC)

• "The Brighton Marine Palace and Pier and Brighton Beach as viewed from the west" why the italics in that caption?

Not a clue - fixed Ritchie333 ^{(talk) (cont)} 11:07, 15 August 2017 (UTC)

• Could link National Express.

Fixed Ritchie333 ^{(talk) (cont)} 11:07, 15 August 2017 (UTC)

• Works in references should be in italics e.g., The Argus.

Fixed Ritchie333 ^{(talk) (cont)} 11:07, 15 August 2017 (UTC)

• Publisher of ref 5 simply says "Southern", what should it be?

Well that's what it's called, our article is at Southern (Govia Thameslink Railway). I've put a link in the ref. Ritchie333 ^{(talk) (cont)} 11:07, 15 August 2017 (UTC)

That's it for the moment. The Rambling Man (talk) 10:06, 15 August 2017 (UTC)

@The Rambling Man: - All addressed, I think only converting tons is still an issue. Anything else? Ritchie333 ^{(talk) (cont)} 11:07, 15 August 2017 (UTC)

All good, thanks. The Rambling Man (talk) 09:24, 16 August 2017 (UTC)

Good show, have an ice cream and stick of rock as my appreciation. Ritchie333 ^{(talk) (cont)} 09:41, 16 August 2017 (UTC)