Talk:Cameron Rahles-Rahbula/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Jaguar (talk · contribs) 17:11, 9 April 2014 (UTC)

I'll take up this review as part of the chain of Paralympians submitted in past few days. I mainly focus on copy editing issues. Given the size of these articles the GAR itself should not take too long so I will leave down some initial comments on these articles within 48 hours. Thanks! ☠ Jaguar ☠ 17:11, 9 April 2014 (UTC)

GA review – see WP:WIAGA for criteria

1. Is it reasonably well written?

   A. Prose quality:

   B. MoS compliance for lead, layout, words to watch, fiction, and lists:

2. Is it factually accurate and verifiable?

   A. References to sources:

   It is well referenced.

   B. Citation of reliable sources where necessary:

   C. No original research:

3. Is it broad in its coverage?

   A. Major aspects:

   B. Focused:

4. Is it neutral?

   Fair representation without bias:

5. Is it stable?

   No edit wars, etc:

6. Does it contain images to illustrate the topic?

   A. Images are copyright tagged, and non-free images have fair use rationales:

   B. Images are provided where possible and appropriate, with suitable captions:

7. Overall:

   Pass or Fail:

Initial comments

Lead

• The lead is looking more fleshed out compared to the other Paralympian articles. It explains the article and the prose is good - I see no copyediting issues here!
• The lead complies per WP:LEAD and the GA criteria.

Personal

• "He is married to Emily and they have a son Archie." - sounds a bit too informal here. If the information is possible, what is her last name and when were they married (not a requirement of GA, of course! But this sentence does seem informal)
  • It was Emily Jensen but she calls herself Emily Rahles-Rahbula now. She's notable in her own right. I'll take the matter up with Aussiesportlibrarian. I did manage to find his wedding date. Hawkeye7 (talk) 10:44, 16 April 2014 (UTC)
• "He went to Timbertop, for a year" - for readers unfamiliar to this (and me!), what is Timbertop referring to? I read about it and found it is a campus but this sentence doesn't explain what its function is.
  • Timbertop is a boarding campus of Geelong Grammar in the Victorian Alps. It is "an unforgettable learning experience which, for many students, is a challenging rite of passage to a rewarding adult life." Its best-known alumnus is this guy. Geelong Grammar is the most expensive private school in Victoria, with fees in excess of $32,000 per annum. Traditionally, it was a boarding school that catered for the sons of the landed gentry. Hawkeye7 (talk) 10:44, 16 April 2014 (UTC)

Career

• "At the 2009 IPC Alpine Skiing World Championships in High Resort 1, Korea he won a gold medal in the Men's Slalom Standing " - this doesn't seem to make sense. "High Resort 1, Korea he won a gold medal"? I don't know what to suggest as I'm not sure what this means! Is Korea referring to the country of the Korean team? Did he win the gold medal in Korea?
  • High Resort 1 is a ski resort in Korea in Jeongseon County, Korea. The next Winter Olympics will be held there in 2018. Added a link. Hawkeye7 (talk) 10:44, 16 April 2014 (UTC)

On hold

This article has the least problems than any of Paralympian articles I've reviewed so far - there a little and only very minor issues I have found with this article. The lead complies per the GA criteria and once those minor copy editing issues have been addressed to this article should pass the GAN with little problems. The prose is generally good for this article too. I'll put this on hold until those issues have been clarified. Thank you! ☠ Jaguar ☠ 20:23, 15 April 2014 (UTC)

Close - promoted

Thank you very much for addressing those points so quickly. The article has definitely improved since the GA review, all references are fine, the prose has improved and the sections now meet the GA criteria. It has speedily passed the GAN. Thanks! ☠ Jaguar ☠ 19:57, 18 April 2014 (UTC)