Talk:Castle Clinton/GA1
GA Review
[edit]The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
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Reviewer: Premeditated Chaos (talk · contribs) 20:25, 7 July 2023 (UTC)
Putting myself down for this one. Ping if I don't start it within a week or so. ♠PMC♠ (talk) 20:25, 7 July 2023 (UTC)
- @Premeditated Chaos Don't worry, I forgot about this too. – Epicgenius (talk) 16:31, 17 July 2023 (UTC)
- Aaaaaaaaa sorry every time this week I've tried to open Wikipedia to do anything that requires actual brain cells, a mariachi band plays in my head and I close the tab in shame. ♠PMC♠ (talk) 11:17, 19 July 2023 (UTC)
- Heh, I get the feeling too sometimes. ;) Epicgenius (talk) 15:04, 19 July 2023 (UTC)
- Aaaaaaaaa sorry every time this week I've tried to open Wikipedia to do anything that requires actual brain cells, a mariachi band plays in my head and I close the tab in shame. ♠PMC♠ (talk) 11:17, 19 July 2023 (UTC)
- As usual I've made a few copyedits throughout, some larger ones that I've called out above and a few minor ones not noted. Feel free to revert or dispute them
- No gripes in the lead - clear prose, concise summary
- First para of "Original use", you have two sentences in a row that finish with "of fortifications in New York Harbor", which could maybe be tweaked
- Done. Epicgenius (talk) 15:04, 19 July 2023 (UTC)
- Was the artificial island build for the fort, or did it exist before? Do we know?
- The artificial island was completed circa 1810, if I recall correctly, so probably built for the fort. Epicgenius (talk) 15:04, 19 July 2023 (UTC)
- I think describing cannons as "x-pounder" is standard and doesn't need quotation marks (the cannon article doesn't, and it's FA, although not a hill I'll die on)
- Removed. Epicgenius (talk) 15:04, 19 July 2023 (UTC)
- In "Entertainment venue" I revised the sentence about the opera premieres a bit
- I also separated the two sentences about Allen's lease into their own small paragraph, as that's a new thought relative to the rest of the paragraph's content which discusses performances at the venue
- Why have [[History of immigration to the United States|first American immigration station]] in the lead, but nowhere in the body?
- I have linked this in the body. Epicgenius (talk) 15:04, 19 July 2023 (UTC)
- "unauthorized immigration agents"? Or unauthorized immigrants...? If the first, uhh...what?
- Oops, I meant the latter. I had a bit of a brain fart there. Epicgenius (talk) 15:04, 19 July 2023 (UTC)
- I moved the outbuildings sentence to the end of the para as that seemed more logical
- Kesselgarten struck me as more of a dicdef, so I made a wiktionary entry and turned ours into a soft redirect. I adjusted the phrasing/linking a bit
- "booking agents" is this a technical term? booking for what?
- Booking for transport tickets. Railroads and ferries had booking agents, who would sell tickets for these modes of transport. Epicgenius (talk) 15:04, 19 July 2023 (UTC)
- Ohh okay so they're like running over saying "we can book you a ticket out of here", gotcha ♠PMC♠ (talk) 06:51, 20 July 2023 (UTC)
- Booking for transport tickets. Railroads and ferries had booking agents, who would sell tickets for these modes of transport. Epicgenius (talk) 15:04, 19 July 2023 (UTC)
- "on the manifest of the largest ship" - do we know the name of that ship?
- I don't know, but I can take a look later. Epicgenius (talk) 15:04, 19 July 2023 (UTC)
- It's not dreadfully important ♠PMC♠ (talk) 06:51, 20 July 2023 (UTC)
- I don't know, but I can take a look later. Epicgenius (talk) 15:04, 19 July 2023 (UTC)
- "To encourage immigrants to use other ports of entry" - do we know why they wanted this?
- This was to reduce overcrowding, as many immigrants heading to Castle Garden were destined for other parts of the US anyway. However, this was not particularly successful as many immigrants only knew about Castle Garden. It was the Ellis Island of its time (and ironically, Ellis Island was built to replace Castle Garden). Epicgenius (talk) 15:04, 19 July 2023 (UTC)
- "Head tax" and "poll tax" are used interchangeably, but it isn't clear from context that those are synonyms. Can we either clarify or pick just one?
- IDK where "poll tax" came from. I changed this to "head tax". Epicgenius (talk) 15:04, 19 July 2023 (UTC)
- First two sentences of "Closure" both use "numerous"
- Fixed. Epicgenius (talk) 15:04, 19 July 2023 (UTC)
- "reportedly did not enforce federal laws" Was this like, they should've been enforcing but refused to for malicious reasons, or didn't enforce them because it wasn't their job in the first place?
- It was the latter, as the state officials were only interested in enforcing state laws. Epicgenius (talk) 15:04, 19 July 2023 (UTC)
- "gross stupidity" 😂
- I realized that in the entertainment venue section, you have 2022 conversions, but not elsewhere. Any particular reason for this?
- Aside from this no gripes through the Aquarium section
- You've got your first link to the Board of Estimate way down under "Initial plans", but it's mentioned earlier. Deliberate?
- I made a few minor wording revisions, but otherwise no issues through the rest of "Demolition"
- "two subterranean water tanks" do we know what these are for? Is it important?
- Did the tensile roof ever get installed? I don't see a mention of it in the main description of the monument as it is now
Okay, that's it. Fairly top-heavy for comments, very minimal stuff after the aquarium. As always, your writing is clear and descriptive. No concerns about MOS, CV/paraphrasing, NPOV, or other content issues. Spot checks of accessible sources (including Newspapers.com clips, books, and other news reports) checked out with no factual issues. Images are free and suitably tagged and captioned. No concerns. I'm going to pass this; treat anything else as a suggestion, as there's nothing that would casuse a GACR fail. ♠PMC♠ (talk) 06:51, 20 July 2023 (UTC)