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Talk:Charles Dinsmoor/GA1

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GA Review

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Reviewer: The Rambling Man (talk · contribs) 21:40, 12 March 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Comments

  • Infobox header says "Frederick dinsmoor".


  • "a nineteenth-century American" no need for century (that's a given based on his birth/death) and no need to link American.


  • "to the bar" link.


  • Could put some geographical context in the lead.


  • "Ireland but are from" were?


  • "1834.[1] Dinsmoor's family genealogy.." His family...


  • I think his "ancestors" sentence belongs with these sentences.


  • "arrive in America, John Dinsmoor. John came to America" repetitive.


  • "from Londonderry, Ireland and" comma after Ireland.


  • "governor of New Hampshire"" link?


  • "Congress" link?


  • " Samuel Dinsmoor, Jr." these no longer use commas.


  • "New England" link.



  • "became a student" where? How?


  • "... business for about eleven years in the same cities. The printing he did while teaching and attending school" merge.


  • "During the last three of this time he" years? And "of this time" is awkward phrasing.


  • "and was in that" -> "and held that"


  • "he was twenty-two years old." do you mean he started a year-long course when he was 22?


  • "admitted to the bar of " link.


  • "assistant United States marshal" what does this mean? Is there a link?


  • "1860 census" link?


  • "Dinsmoor has been" Dinsmoor was?


  • Link Oddfellows.


  • "his health failed. The last five years of his life he had failing health " bit repetitive again, suggest a reword to merge to avoid the repeat.


  • " (b. 10/17/1867)" write out in prose.


  • Link "patent No".
  • " of Stockton, California in" comma after Cali.


  • "after the subject of this article" not how we write things.


  • Ref 9, en-dash in the year range in the title.


  • "1886" is not a helpful caption.


That's all I have so it's on hold for now. The Rambling Man (Stay alert! Control the virus! Save lives!!!!) 21:39, 15 March 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for review. I'll start on the issues tomorrow.--Doug Coldwell (talk)
@The Rambling Man: All issues have been addressed. Can you take another look. Thanks.--Doug Coldwell (talk) 14:18, 16 March 2021 (UTC)[reply]
Ok, I made a few tweaks. Passing. The Rambling Man (Stay alert! Control the virus! Save lives!!!!) 08:22, 17 March 2021 (UTC)[reply]